Tag: black widow

Black Widow Spider Glasses

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Black Widow Spider Glasses
Widows are the worst, all sex starved and groping you all the time cuz you’re a man and they need some sweet lovin’, but enough about my short career as a gigolo at a retirement community. These Black Widow Spider Glasses reminded me how grabby those blue haired ladies were.

These glasses are bad-ass, showing the deadly black widow in several poses like it’s a sexy spider calendar or something. I don’t blame male spiders for falling for the black widow’s tricks. I mean, ya see an hour glass on their back, you just figure it’s a tramp stamp. You figure it means she’s up for about an hour of fun and that’s it. Hell, that’s 59 minutes and 30 seconds more than I need.

But no, it means death. *Sad face*

Black Widow Spider Costume AKA “The Maneater”: Watch Out Boy She’ll Chew You Up

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Black Widow Spider CostumeThis Black Widow costume looks nothing like the spiders I’ve seen crawling around my baseboards. Those aren’t sexy like this one. I usually just stand on my bed shrieking while I call my neighbor to come deal with it. And by “deal with it”, I mean she comes over and slaps me in the face, telling me to man up and grow a pair, because “I’m not your f***ing mommy, so stop calling me!”.

This is followed by a lengthy interrogation about how I got her phone number and why are there pieces of mail with her name on them in my house? Just getting to know my neighbors is all. Jeez. All the while, that scary and creepy 8-legged thing is still on the floor somewhere. By the time I get tazed, it doesn’t even matter, because I wake up a day later. That’s my life.

Click through for more images. Including a shot from the back. Nice egg-sack.
Read more “Black Widow Spider Costume AKA “The Maneater”: Watch Out Boy She’ll Chew You Up”