Cue montage of me beating up meat in a freezer. Training hardcore rocky style while I wear my sweet Dragon eye patch. Jumping rope. Doing sit ups as my trainer teases me with a piece of bacon just out of reach. I’m feeling good! Feeling pumped! I can do this!
It’s the…eye of the dragon
It’s the thrill of the fight….
Mick, my trainer is all like, “Are you a dragon or a door mouse? Get out there and do it. Show ’em what a dragon can do. You got heart kid. Clobber ’em and breath fire. Don’t stop until the fire department comes to pick up his ashes. Eye of the dragon kid! Now go!” *Pushes me into the ring.*
Ding. Ding.
In this corner, me, hitting my gloves together and jumping up and down, ready for action. In the opposite corner… Yeah, it’s that spider that I saw, looking creepy as f**k.
*Runs away screaming.* Here, you have the eye of the dragon Mick. I don’t want it anymore. I’m just gonna get a fly swatter and hope for the best. Can you kill it? Please?????
