Tag: parasol

Octopus Tentacles Umbrella

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Octopus Tentacles Umbrella
This Octopus Tentacles Umbrella will look amazing while it keeps the rain off of you. Like Cthulhu himself, it has tentacles everywhere. Except that his are usually grabbing at a waitress as he calls her toots. You can’t take him anywhere. This is a classy umbrella. Otherwise known as a parasol, if you’re all fancy-like. And you will be fancy, prancing about town, tentacles held high, the water just careening off this thing, giving the impression that you are a protected behind a waterfall. You smile and with your free hand, tease your hair. That’s right. You are woman and everyone can hear that sexy roar.

You have this umbrella to thank. And of course me, who brought it to your attention. I know, I know. No need to thank me. Just doing my job.

Bone Parasol: It’s Raining Skulls And Bones

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

bone parasol
If the weather is calling for a Goth downpour of epic proportions, this Bone Parasol has you covered. It has a casting of a hawk skull at its tip and a casting of a rabbit skull on the handle. Not enough? There are also eight quail skulls dangling from the spokes.

The woman in these images looks beautiful and dangerous. It’s true. I want to approach her, but I’m too shy. Anyway, that’s beside the point. She’s not exactly dressed for going out in the rain and she’s going to catch her death of cold.

That’s my in. As she stands there shivering in the rain, bones swaying in the wind like a demented set of wind chimes, drippy makeup making her look all extra sad, I’ll drop by like the hero I am and offer her my jacket.*end dream sequence*

Nah. It’s too damn cold for that. She should have spent her money on a nice warm jacket first and THEN saved up for a creeptastic bone parasol. That’s like responsibility 101. Some lessons are best learned hard my dear. Perhaps we will meet again one day. I’ll roll the skull dice.
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