Tag: tentacles

Mermaid Skeleton Blanket – The Brittle Mermaid?

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Mermaid Skeleton Blanket - The Brittle Mermaid?

Ohhh look at this beauty. This Mermaid Skeleton Blanket looks all kinds of cool and all kinds of creepy. The Little Mermaid? More like The Brittle Mermaid. Am I right?  How you gonna swim around with your bones all exposed, girl? I mean I walk around with my bone exposed all the time, hence several restraining orders, but that’s beside the point. You’re not even skin and bones. Just bones and nothing but the bones. It is the perfect blanket for that dark unda da sea feel. It’s got skeleton fish, some neat tentacle action in the mix, and of course, our bony siren of the sea looking all goth and dark. I like this Mermaid Skeleton blanket just as much as I like the octopus and mermaid shower curtain. Don’t make me choose a favorite. I can’t. They’re both beautiful ladies of the sea. I would date them both, but it’s not like you can take old miss bony here out to dinner. Plus, all of those bones would just be jabbing you in bed. But I still find her to be a very  sexy siren. She’s just plain cool. Tenta-cool if ya know what I mean. And I think you do.

Tentacle Pen and Pencil Holder

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Tentacle Pen and Pencil Holder
*Reaches for a pencil as a tentacle hands one to me.* Thank you. Wait, what the f- Yeah, this Tentacle Pen and Pencil Holder is just that cool. It’s got tentacles everywhere and room for your writing instruments. It might even give you a little hand massage if you keep it on your desk.

Octopus Bedding Tentacle Pattern Duvet Cover or Comforter

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Octopus Bedding Tentacle Pattern Duvet Cover or Comforter
Ohhhh. I love octopus bedding. Except for the part where my wife keeps jabbing me with her tentacles. There at least 20,000 leagues under the sea so why are your elbows in my side? Spread out! Damn! This bed is just like an octopus. You know how? They’re both full of suckers! Ouch! Stop that!

Larry Chain Smokin Outside Of Dunkin Monster Sculpture

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Larry Chain Smokin Outside Of Dunkin Monster Sculpture
This monster sculpture is called “Larry Chain Smokin Outside Of Dunkin“. It doesn’t say who Larry is or if he kicked the habit since then. We don’t even know if any cops showed up to apprehend him cuz he’s a monster smoking in front of a Dunkin Donuts. But we assume that happened cuz A: He’s a monster and B: Cops love donuts. Makes sense. How does he even smoke with that mouth? Ew!

Kraken Tentacle Mug

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Kraken Tentacle Mug
Grab a tentacle and raise a toast- No, not that toast! You’re dripping butter all over the place! Raise your glass man! To the amazing Kraken Tentacle Mug! What? No. No, I’m not saying there’s a crack in the mug. I’m saying it’s a Kraken mug. Are you drunk already? I’m just saying the is cool, okay? Damn, I’m trying to write a blog post here.

That reminds me, why do they call them tentacles when they don’t have small tents on the end? If you trust the English language Octopi should occupy the center of a camping site and spread their tentacles out so campers have a place to sleep.