Tag: possessed

Haunted English Bible

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Haunted English Bible
Is this Haunted English Bible really haunted? Put your hand on the bible and swear it! The seller of this bible claims that among other incidents, “The last time she was attacked, she was pulled by her hair and dragged down the stairs getting bruises all over her body,”

Okay so it sounds like they are dealing with the ghost of a horny caveman. The pulling by the hair is a dead giveaway. He was trying to pull her into his ghost cave and do some prehistoric porkin’. Some Neanderthal nasty. Some good old fashioned Flintstones f***ing! Naturally he would show her his cave paintings after. That’s only gentlemanly. How his spirit got attached to an English bible, I have no idea. Anyway, haunting solved!
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Haunted “Walking” Possessed Doll Named Amy

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Haunted Walking Possessed Doll Named Amy
Check out this old 50s style doll on ebay. The seller thinks it’s haunted and that it’s a 3 foot tall demon baby:

Since I’ve had this doll in my house, I’ve felt very uncomfortable.

Are you sure that’s not gas. Cuz gas can do that. I have a terrible pain in my side right now that I know was caused by Taco Bell.

I bought this because I thought it was creepy…but I had no idea. The first night it was in my home I had a terrible dream of it walking with a stilt towards my room, and since then I’ve been experiencing extreme dread when I go anywhere near it.

Wait what? Walking with a stilt? Just one? So it was hopping on a stilt making a super loud racket? Are you sure it wasn’t a pogo stick? As for the extreme dread, you might want to consult your hairdresser. I don’t have dreads, but I hear they can be a pain. Maybe you just had too much cough syrup? It happens.

I’ve also heard screams coming from the room she’s in, and have had odd things happening around my home (objects will be moved, fire alarms going off, etc.). I feel that this doll is haunted, but I don’t have anywhere near enough experience to be able to tell anything about it. The only information I have is that I haven’t been able to get the name “Amy” out of my head, so I feel it could be related. Ultimately, I want this out of my home.

This happens to me too. It’s called “being drunk”. I’m kind of a pro athlete at it. The drink will wear off soon enough. Amy is probably the name of your drunk spirit animal. Mine’s name is Clarence. They should totally get together.
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Sammy Davis Jr. And Mini Burt Reynolds Dolls Are Ready To Haunt You

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sammy davis jr and burt reynoldsThis Ebay auction is for 4 haunted dolls for $9,999.99. But I’m only concerned about these two here. I don’t care what names they go by, I know Sammy Davis Jr. and Burt Reynolds anywhere. Together they will party down and haunt the sh*t out of a place. They starred in the Cannonball Run movies together. Burt is still alive, but whatever.

The seller says that these dolls are of the Guatemalan/Mayan Folk Saint San Simón Maximon. The seller also says:

“These things are powerful as sh*t. I have NEVER had Magick work so effectively as with San Simón.”

That is powerful. And since magic is spelled with a k, you know these dolls are gonna bring the funk and the psycho-kinetic gunk (ectoplasm). Basically the seller claims that they made a pact with this entity and he won’t let them out of the deal. So they are selling the dolls.

However, you will have to offer this spirit “money, tobacco, booze, black candles, bread or cakes, etc”. Well, that explains why these dolls are smoking up and sitting amid a pile of booze and coins. Sammy D and Burt Reynolds always did like to live it up. Now they are holding this poor seller hostage. And I find that hilarious. They can have my bread and cakes, even the money, but my booze and smokes are off limits.

Haunted Clown Doll Lays The Smack Down And Leaves A Burning Hand Print

Artemis Winterford5 Comments

haunted slap markThis little clown seen below looks harmless. Weird, but harmless. The story goes that a nice mother in law bought this doll two months ago for the seller’s 9 month old son Isaac. He was purchased from an antique center in Springfield, Ohio. They named him “Louie”.

Soon after, there were issues with items in the nursery being moved: Diapers hidden under the crib, clothing being removed from the dresser and thrown on the floor and they even woke up one night to the sound of Isaac babbling loudly. They rushed into his nursery and every single stuffed animal he had in the toy box was sitting upright with him in bed.
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Interior Frighting: Creepy Doll Head Lamp

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creepy doll head lampIf you own property in the Valley of The Dolls or on the Island of Dolls, decorate your place with some appropriate lighting. Lighting that makes it look like one of your dolls has been possessed and is burning hell’s fiery furnace behind it’s eyes. It is only 99 cents with 3 days to go on Ebay.

Have fun with that. Don’t blame me when that head spins 360 degrees and starts spitting vomit everywhere. Check it out all lit up and evil below.
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