Category: Just Plain Weird

Skull Bubble Gumball Machine

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Skull Bubble Gum Machine
As the kids say, “Sick! Look at that drip!” You shouldn’t take candy from strangers. That’s just plain weird. And you definitely should not take candy from this Skull Bubble Gumball Machine. Um. Nope. No way. Not me. This creepy bubble gum vending machine will gladly dispense gum via that long curvy tongue. This is some great Halloween decor. It’s gruesome and full of gum, much like some city streets. Or the underside of the chair that I’m currently sitting on. Hey, I have no where else to put it. Damn. Just look at that gumball on the tip of its tongue. Look at that colorful drip design. If we ever have a zombie plague, this is what the graffiti kids are gonna look like. If that does not come to pass, I promise I’ll go paint some zombies myself, cuz this is just too cool.

I want to put this Skull Bubble Gumball Machine in my living room to scare all of my guests.

Skeleton Car Air Fresheners

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Skeleton Car Air Fresheners
Whoa. These Skeleton Car Air Fresheners look awesomely scary and will make your car smell better. You spend so much time in your car it smells nasty. You know who you are. That ride smells like ass and Fritos had a threesome with unwashed taint. Well, these little skeletons will help you class up the joint. And make it stop smelling like a joint, too if you know what I mean. Just pop in a scent tab and put them on your vents. These little homies are riding shotgun and will be with you for all of your adventures. Don’t worry these Skeleton Car Air Fresheners don’t see anything, they don’t say anything and they don’t hear anything. So your secrets are safe. Which means these guys would not have ratted me out that time I picked up a lady of the night who turned out to be a dude of the d**k instead! It’s always good when homies have your back. Speaking of skeletons, check out this Creatures Skeleton ID Chart.

Salem Witch Trials Reproduction Wall Art

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Salem Witch Trials Reproduction Wall Art
Decorate with this Salem Witch Trials Reproduction Wall Art and creep up your castle. Witches have always been tried, long before Amber Heard. Usually, they would do stuff like tie them to a wood beam and dunk them underwater and if they don’t die, they’re a witch. If they do die, well… maybe that wasn’t a great witch detector. They would draw and quarter you, set you on fire, pull out your fingernails and generally end you. Sort of like when you disagree with others politically or about anything today.

Anyway, this cool reproduction Salem Witch Trials wall art will be perfect for your creepy castle or haunted home. It’s a great reminder to not be caught being a witch. Don’t let anyone see you using one of these witch cauldron mugs, for instance. Because if you are drinking from a cauldron in your little hamlet, you are just asking for trouble. You might as well decorate your hair with bats, cook with eye of newt and fly around on a broom. It’s okay to be a biatch, just not a wiatch if you know what I’m saying. So you need to also make sure to hide your resting witch face from others.

Claw Bookends / Bookmarks

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Claw Bookends
These Claw Bookends are crazy. Is there a lycanthrope in the library? I don’t know what it is, but it’s on the loose, and loves books. That makes it very dangerous indeed. I watched these claws all over my books for like 3 hours straight, and when the beast didn’t come out, I cut and filed those claws. Then put some ruby red nail polish on them. Now it’s not a threat. But I’m still not reading any books until it leaves. Who am I kidding, I never read them anyway. They just make me look smart. This is why I also have these Ravens On Skulls Bookends. I look look smart but me not smart. Anyway, these Claw Bookends are aweswome.

Bat Ouija Board – Go Batty Summoning Spirits

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Bat Ouija Board - Go Batty Summoning Spirits
Check out this Bat Ouija Board. Now you can summon bat spirits as well as human spirits. I’m guessing. Not that you’ll get any answers from bats since it will all come out as E-E-K and E-E-E-E-K. Thanks for the wisdom guys. Did you just phantom guano on my shoulder? Yeah, that’s ectoplasmic bat scat, alright. I wonder if you can summon Batman with this thing. It would probably just tell me I had the wrong number. But you know me, I’ll keep trying until it blocks me.

This Ouija board will look awesome in a seance room or any room or belfry. Perfect for Halloween too. Go batty with it. I hope you talk to some chatty batties. Does it actually summon bats? Like some Jedi-Master spirit bat that can impart wisdom. Because that isn’t hard to do. Heck, I can summon a wise old bat without a spirit board. I’ll just call my mother. Whoa. Wait a minute… Is that what a motherboard is? Is it a board that summons mothers? That could be good, because there are definitely some milfs I’d like to summon if you know what I’m saying and I think you do. Check out more spirit boards.