These Claw Bookends are crazy. Is there a lycanthrope in the library? I don’t know what it is, but it’s on the loose, and loves books. That makes it very dangerous indeed. I watched these claws all over my books for like 3 hours straight, and when the beast didn’t come out, I cut and filed those claws. Then put some ruby red nail polish on them. Now it’s not a threat. But I’m still not reading any books until it leaves. Who am I kidding, I never read them anyway. They just make me look smart. This is why I also have these Ravens On Skulls Bookends. I look look smart but me not smart. Anyway, these Claw Bookends are aweswome.
Tag: claws
Gloves With Built-In Claws
Get away. I’ll cut ya man. Scratch ya real good. These Gloves With Built-In Claws are awesome cuz it means that every time it is cold enough to need gloves, your claws come out. And no I’m not scratching your back. These are just so I can hiss and scratch at the air, maybe dig in the dirt a little before I lift my leg. That’s just how I roll. Cuz I’m a werewolf. A Teenage Werewolf cuz I got more acne than hair.
Gargoyle Claw Back Scratcher – There Will Be Blood
This Gargoyle Claw Back Scratcher comes in several different colors. All will scratch your back like a crazed Gargoyle. They will scratch that itch, whether it’s a seven year itch, or other itch. Okay back scratcher, you scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours. Looks like you don’t have a back, so it’s gonna be all me. Oh yeah. It’s the Itchy and Scratchy show up in here. Oh yeah, right there. Harder. Harder. A little deeper. There ya go. *shakes it’s hand and puts it back on the shelf.* Was it as good for you as it was for me?
Bear Oven Mitts With Claws
I don’t know about you, but I’m a real bear in the kitchen and if anybody comes near those muffins I’m gonna slice ’em up real good with my bear claws. Then when I’m all done cooking I’m gonna stuff my face full of muffins and exit the kitchen on all fours, dropping a deuce on the way out. Hey, you humans have your traps, I have mine.
You want some muffins, you gotta cross the steaming minefield and make it out again with the prize. But you won’t, because I’ll be waiting. They’re mine! All mine! *Goes crazy and starts slashing the air with my Bear Oven Mitts With Claws, letting out a huge roar!* Sorry about that. Sugar high. Now back to muffins.
Giant Lobster Claws
Everyone should have a pair of giant lobster claws. They make everyday things into awesome things. Think of the fun that you could have doing things like: Hitchhiking, gesturing with your claws as you give directions, trying to saw through rope with your pincers, opening beer bottles and more.
You are gonna be a crazy crustacean. A prized pincer. Also, your handshake will now be powerful and dangerous for other humans. Life just got a little more awesome. Your new name is Zoidberg!