F**ked Up Halloween Kid’s Costumes
It’s that time of year peeps. That time when we dress up like monsters and go door to door expecting free stuff that will rot our teeth and fill our belly. Let’s take a look at some f**ked up kids costumes. Some of these are just weird, some may be a bad choice for innocent kids, others may scar a kid for life.
Like this Zombie Tutu Dress. Put it on your kid and they will have a strange desire to bite innocent victims and play hide and seek in a cemetery all day. When night comes, they’ll probably dig up a corpse and have a little midnight snack.
How about turning your kid into a Deep Sea Angler Fish? Little Timmy is going to be cross-eyed for years to come. He lures chocolate into his bag by wiggling his head-thing, then bites their hand so they drop extra in his bag! No Timmy, no!
This Zombie Care Bear should be called a No-Care Bear. He has recently been re-animated and now he is out for blood. He’s in no mood for your cheap candies. Give him some of that cheap crap. See what happens!
Minions. They look kind of weird with kids stuffed inside. I say weird. I mean creepy. This one just wigs me out for personal reasons since I was once robbed by a gang of minions and my flashbacks are all a yellow blur. I just pretend it was the Simpsons. It helps a little. Can’t stop shaking though.
This one is just plain wrong. Why ya gonna dress your kid up as a homicidal doll with a thirst for blood? That kid looks pissed! It’s like he’s channeling Chucky! Here, you can have ALL THE CANDY! Just leave and go to the next house. (Image is on Etsy.)
Beetlejuice. Beetlejuice. Beetlejuice. Oh hey kid. I was expecting Michael Keaton. I’ll be honest, this kid is scaring the hell out of me. Look I didn’t mean to summon you. I stutter, see. It’s the equivalent of a ghostly wrong number. Don’t hurt me.
Dressing your kid up as Freddy Krueger might not be the best idea. I can think of a bunch of costumes that are better role models. Anyway, that’s just great. Now a baby is going to invade my dreams and take out my friends one by one. Wait. Are those the souls of those you have killed bubbling up on your tummy? Oh, it was just gas!
Why not dress your kid up as a cup of coffee? It’s too bad it doesn’t have the Starbucks logo on it. Cuz then you might actually pay as much attention to your kid as you do that Pumpkin Spice Latte. Damn! Zing. Burn! You know it’s true.