All I want for Christmas are these Striped Taxidermy Bat Christmas Ornaments. My tree needs more dead bats. They just love hanging, ya know. Bats know how to hang. They also know how to fill a cave floor with poop, but luckily you won’t have to worry about that. You won’t be singing, “Deck the halls with tons of guano…” Good thing too, cuz Santa doesn’t like stepping in bat sh*t while he’s putting gifts under the tree. Just saying.
Tag: bat
Classy Gothic Black Filigree Bat Necklace
Ohhhh classy. Oh my goth! This Gothic Black Filigree Bat Necklace is awesome. The sparkly part in the middle mesmerizes me, while the bat wings carry me off to a far away land. Of course that could be the meds kicking in. I’ll let you know. Seriously though, this necklace is classy, dark and sassy. This one is gonna look good against your bosom ladies. You’ll be absolutely batty about it.
Creepily Cute Ouija Bat Enamel Pin – Halloween Pin
This Ouija Bat Enamel Pin is pretty cool. Ouija Bats are the worst though. You ever try to get one of them to stay still long enough to rub your planchette all over it? It’s impossible. Even when your bat goes to sleep hanging from your ceiling, then ya gotta get a ladder, climb up, remember you forgot your planchette and then climb up again, get pooped on by bat, then watch bat fly away while you try to unfurl its wings.
Taxidermy Bat Soaps – All The Gothic, None Of The Guano
Wait, I thought Taxidermy Bat Soaps were soap operas starring dead bats. Ya learn something new every day. These cool and creepy soaps have bat taxidermy type diagrams on them or in them. Your creepy crapper will look great decorated with these soaps. I’m just assuming yours is creepy. Mine is, but that’s only cuz I never clean. On the upside, I have discovered several new strains of mold and mildew. I’mall about forwarding science.
Sleepy Bat Earrings
Are those Sleepy Bat Earrings? Did you have to read them a little bedtime story? Give them a glass of milk before tucking them in? Ahhh. Isn’t that adorable? You’re really driving me batty cuz you look so good with those bats in your ear. Mind if I read them a bedtime story? *whispers in your ear* Once upon a time… *Starts nibbling your ear.* OW! Why’d you slap me? I just love bats. Geesh. Is that a crime? I guess if you call the cops it is. So you tell me if it’s a crime. Cuz if it is, I better get out of here. Good thing I shaved. Ya know why? Cuz I’m a smooth criminal!