This Chick Magnet might be just the thing to get the ladies. That’s what a chick magnet is right? It’s crazy enough that it just might work. Woman sees chick, is impressed and that chick hangs around, thinks I have good taste in fridge magnets. Then we live happily ever after, calling each other chicken head. That’s a love story right there.
These taxidermy magnets are ethically sourced and totally whacked. All I know is that I need more chicken heads in my life. Cuz I’m weird like that.
Slinky Rabbit. It’s Slinky. It’s Slinky. It’s such a wonderful toy. Slinky! Slinky! It brings more terror than joy! WTF yo! Is it a toy or taxidermy? It’s both. Somehow. Made from a freeze-dried rabbit by the way. In case you were wondering. Imagine this thing slinking around and chasing you. They say it died of natural causes, but I have to wonder if those natural causes were a madman and an ax. They say that children are our future, and maybe. But the future has some f**ked up toys. What ever happened to wholesome toys like Monster Cereal catnip toys? You can’t escape the slinky rabbit.
When you can’t catch Bigfoot yourself, you buy this Faux Taxidermy Bigfoot. No one will ever know that you didn’t hunt him down. This guy looks like some kind of elder sasquatch who was on his last leg anyway. He would have been easy to kill. “When I was a kid….” Bang! Bagged me a Bigfoot. An old nasty smelly Bigfoot that was headed for retirement anyway. Not sure if I should be sad or happy with this on my wall.
Checkmate! More like check pulse. You won’t find any. My dead army just beat your dead army. And if both armies are dead, what the hell is even the point? The Taxidermy Mouse Chess Set lets you play the classic game with a bunch of dead, but very well dressed mice. Sounds like a fun way to keep others away. That reminds me, I have to go check my traps so I can complete my own set.
Look who it is. The rodent of my nightmares. The Freddy Kreuger taxidermy Mouse. He will haunt your dreams and search for cheese. If he doesn’t find any cheese, he’ll just nibble on your soul. Sadly, mousetraps don’t work in the dream world. So good luck with this guy. I just won’t sleep.