Hickory Dickory Dock, a rat just died in my clock. So that’s where that smell is from. Now I have a rat clock. It is always rat o’clock. Why is it holding that baby? I have no idea. Must have snatched it and tried to make a getaway, but he was out of time. Speaking of the time, I have an appointment at half-past rat-a-twoey and it’s already 1:45. What time is it now? You know what they say. It’s half-past a rat’s ass and a quarter to his balls. Forever.
Tag: dead stuff
Scary Chupacabra Corpse Sculpture
People love monster stories. Any decent story told involves a monster. Just ask my ex-wife. There are reports of chupacabra sightings in the Americas and eerie stories of body part trails left behind by these blood-sucking creatures. But we have never discovered a Chupacabra corpse. Until now…
Imagine having a Chupacabra corpse lying around the house. The corpse is so well sculpted out of paper pulp clay, paper mache, and polymer clay, no one will fail to believe that you actually met and killed a Chupacabra. With professional mask hair, acrylic hair and good craftsmanship, it is so realistic it will scare you at night.
Freddy Kreuger Taxidermy Mouse
Look who it is. The rodent of my nightmares. The Freddy Kreuger taxidermy Mouse. He will haunt your dreams and search for cheese. If he doesn’t find any cheese, he’ll just nibble on your soul. Sadly, mousetraps don’t work in the dream world. So good luck with this guy. I just won’t sleep.
Taxidermy Rat Toothbrush Holder / Plague Holder
The Taxidermy Rat Toothbrush Holder is my new favorite accessory. Keeping your teeth clean is important, so yeah, it makes total sense to store your toothbrushes in a nasty filthy disease carrier’s corpse. Why the hell not, since you already have the brushes touching each other’s bristles. That’s nasty! Maybe we should have the toothpaste coming out of its plague-carrying mouth too.
Victorian Taxidermy Bat Frame
This Victorian Taxidermy Bat Frame is going to look lovely next to my Puffer Fish lamps. He looks like he wants a hug. Do you want a hug little guy? Aww. I’ll hug ya. NO NOT THE FACE. NOT THE FACE! Victorian bats go hard! No worries. Nothing a little plastic surgery won’t fix. And by plastic surgery I mean, Imma cut up my credit card in case I ever wanna buy something like this again.