Spiderweb Bookends. I already have my own. It’s called not reading and allowing spiders to decorate. The webs hold my books in place, while all of the dead flies aka spider juice boxes insure that I will never ever touch a book again.

I would listen to books on audio, but I got spiderwebs in my headphones too. What? I don’t use my stuff a lot! And once the spiders get to it, I ain’t using it. And I can’t listen to the books I like out loud, because they usually involve the Scottish Highlands, a dashing open-shirted rogue and the enchanting young maidens who fall for him.