Underwear Earrings: Briefs, Not Boxers

Underwear EarringsUnderwear that’s fun to wear. For your ears. It even has that little wiener door, just like real underwear. Some guys just use the window, meaning they pull their underwear down to drain the dragon. I prefer the door, because it’s more dramatic when a dragon bursts through the door, throwing splinters everywhere and letting out a mighty roar.

Ok, ok. So mine is not so much a dragon as it is a dragonfly. Anyway, it’s not the size, it’s what you do with your wings. Am I right girls? …Girls? Any insect lovers in the audience? I do this thing where I hover, then move, and hover again.

Underwear Cookies: Just Wait’ll We Get Our Hanes…In You

underwear cookiesUnderwear cookies. Edible undies! Tidey Whiteys! They start out white, but after a while they are just a well traveled road covered in skid marks and yellow oil stains from accidents. Accidents are gonna happen on any road. You can say, “Fix our roads. What do we pay taxes for?”, but really you are just too cheap to buy new underwear. And by you, I mean me.

To Etsy seller SugarLaneBakeShop, I say this. I want to eat your undies! All of them. Not ashamed to say it.
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