Now you can own Van Gogh’s ear. It looks all hairy and nasty. I hope it didn’t look like that when he cut it off and gave it to that chick that he loved. Damn Vincent. If that is your ear, your could have just sent her some pubes. At least that way you’d still hear her when she smacks you in the face and calls you a degenerate freak.
Not that I would know from experience or anything.
These body part earrings make quite a statement. They say, “I want- No, I NEED more ears than anyone else. But I only want to dig wax out of two of them.” These earrings are eerie. Get it? Don’t ya just lobe them?
Personal log. Stardate: who the f knows because I sleep in everyday until dark and can’t see the clock radio through the laundry pile… Speaking of ear wax, I’ve just shoved the Q-tip in too far. Again. My attempt at getting enough wax to make an ear wax candle for my Etsy shop is not going well. Not at all. And the voices in my head have started again….
Shhhhhhhh.
Nevermind. False alarm. That was just talk radio being filtered through two pairs of crusty underwear. Is something moving in that pile. *grabs a baseball bat* I’ll be back.