Slip this Tooled Leather Stitched Skin Journal Cover over your journal and then question whether that makes your journal a serial killer or not. I’m still not sure, but I’m watching my journal close. Going undercover as it’s friend to see if I can catch a predator. Hey waz up journal? Slip me some skin. Ewww! Too literal dude. No, I ain’t wearing a wire.
Tag: flesh
Freddy Krueger Burnt Skin Christmas Tree Ornament
Deck the halls with Freddy Krueger’s burnt flesh. You can almost smell the evil bubbling. This Freddy Krueger Burnt Skin Christmas Tree Ornament is pretty awesome. If you could get a whole bunch, it’ll make it look like Freddy exploded and there’s bits of him stuck in your tree. Eww! Yet cool. But I’m freaky like that. Here are some matching fleshy Nikes.
Jingle Bells
Burnt flesh smells
Freddy laid an egg.
My little song gets worse, but that’s all I’m sharing cuz I would like to sleep tonight. I don’t want to tick him off.
Apron Of Flesh With Bonus Purse Of Flesh
Hey, serial killers have to cook too. And nobody likes to stain their clothes. I’m not sure how many people had to die to make this flesh apron, but judging by the amount of eye-holes that I see, there are at least 7 extra people invited to dinner.
I hear ya. It needs an accessory just as fleshy. To flesh it out. You’re thinking, “It’s cool and all, but this outfit needs more skin in the game if I’m gonna buy it”. Well, you can also get a matching Flesh Purse. Now you are all set to host a dinner that your guests will never forget…And never leave.
Yeah, this is from the same Etsy seller that gave us the People Pot Pie, so we already know what’s on the menu.
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Leather Armor Meat Bracers
Hey LARPers. Forget that fancy enchanted set of golden Warlock bracers that you have. Sure they give you +2 defense, but take it from me, it hurts like a mother trucker when that sword hits your wrist. And the force of the blow will probably still shatter your calcium deficient nerd bones.
You need something with some give. You need meat bracers. These are at least +5 defense with a +10 grossness thrown in. If Rocky trained with meat, the least you can do is wear some as armor. Plus, you’ll look badass, like someone has already flayed your skin off. Probably your mom. Because she’s sick of her nerd son freeloading in her basement. You losers need to-
Not now mom!
I’ll do it when I’m finished. No, I’m not rolling the forums again. And it’s TROLLING mom. Did you finish sewing my Elven Wizard costume yet?
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Can You Hear Me Now?: Body Part Earrings Make You All Ears
These body part earrings make quite a statement. They say, “I want- No, I NEED more ears than anyone else. But I only want to dig wax out of two of them.” These earrings are eerie. Get it? Don’t ya just lobe them?
Personal log. Stardate: who the f knows because I sleep in everyday until dark and can’t see the clock radio through the laundry pile… Speaking of ear wax, I’ve just shoved the Q-tip in too far. Again. My attempt at getting enough wax to make an ear wax candle for my Etsy shop is not going well. Not at all. And the voices in my head have started again….
Shhhhhhhh.
Nevermind. False alarm. That was just talk radio being filtered through two pairs of crusty underwear. Is something moving in that pile. *grabs a baseball bat* I’ll be back.