This Nuke Lamp in the shape of a mushroom cloud will lend an irradiated glow to your home. Usually only the cockroaches would survive a blast like this, but both you and those nasty creatures will be safe.
This amazing 3D printed lamp really splits my atoms. It’s rad! Get it? I love it a mega-ton! I hope I don’t get any fallout because of these lame jokes. I wish I had been alive in the 60s and had this lamp. I would have tricked all of my dates using the old “under the desk, duck and cover” routine. Nah, I’ll be fine sitting at the desk. Only enough room down there for one. You get under so you’re safe. Heh heh. While you’re down there…
*Hey that’s rude!*
What? I was gonna say to check if the carpet needs vacuuming.
*That’s sexist*
Well, I just meant.
*You shut up mister!*
When did the voice in my head get so mean and bossy?
I really don’t like other humans. I do my best to avoid them and I certainly don’t want other humans visiting me in my own home, expecting me to serve them Iced Tea and offer them snacks. I’m pretty anti-social. How to keep them away though… I think I will buy this $5,750.00 oil painting titled “