Victorian At Rest Coffin Ornament

Victorian At Rest Coffin Ornament

If I were a vampire and wanted to take a safe nap without getting staked, I would hang this Victorian At Rest Coffin Ornament on my door. Nope. Nothing to see here. The guy in the room is already dead, so just move on please. Yeah, that will work. Of course it just draws attention to the fact that there’s a dead body in here, so maybe not the best plan.

This is actually a good way to memorialize the loved ones you have lost. The Victorian At Rest Coffin Ornament is usually attached to a coffin, but you can use it anywhere. When coffin plaques became popular way back in the day, people would remove the plaques from the coffin before burial to keep as mementos of the deceased. Pretty dark. I like it. Totally different from these Universal Monsters Halloween Ornaments.

Grim Reaper Wine Glass Holder

Grim Reaper Wine Glass Holder
The Grim Reaper Wine Glass Holder makes this dude a lot less scary. I had no idea he came bearing wine glasses. Now he doesn’t seem so bad. Hey buddy, what’s up? Set those glasses down and let’s drink. I’ll drink you under the table. No, I mean it. Get under the table. I’m hiding from everyone who says I have a drinking problem. Also, I keep a spare bottle of Pinot Noir duct taped under the table for emergencies. A few drinks will have you looking less grim. Ever think about re-branding yourself? I’m thinking “the Prim reaper”. Time to go all prim and proper. Clean yourself up. I’ll have my people call your people. I take 10%.

Scary and Skully Aztec Death Whistles

Aztec Death Whistles
I’m not blowing into any of these Aztec Death Whistles, mostly cuz I don’t want to hurt any Aztecs. I like the Aztecs. Please don’t hurt the Aztecs. Blow into something else. And why single the Aztecs out? I just don’t get it. Don’t you know that this is how their civilization ended? Too many deaths by whistle. So sad.
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Burial Bath – Death and Decay Soap – Why Not?

Burial Bath - Death and Decay Soap
Burial Bath – Death and Decay Soap. For when you really want to get clean, but you want to feel… Unclean? Dead? Decayed? I have no idea, but zombies would love it. If they took baths, Which they don’t. They should though. Cuz they are rant. Like walking city dumpsters in the summer. Take this zombie. Have yourself a bath. Burn those clothes too. That cheap Made In China shizz is decomposing faster than you are. Didn’t any of you die in quality threads? Oh yeah, Walmart.

Birthday Cat Calendar In Memory Of The Dead

Birthday Cat Calendar In Memory Of The Dead
This calendar is for both the living and the dead. It lets you remember deceased family members and friends and pets. It would be pretty depressing if it weren’t for that cute and creepy cat all over it’s pages. Every month, two famous deceased persons are mentioned as an example of how the calendar is meant to be used. On every page there is death… And as mentioned that cute cat. So you get the best of both worlds. That cat laughs at death. It is the creepiest cat calendar around.
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