Molten Lava Gargoyle Decoration

Molten Lava Gargoyle Decoration
This Molten Lava Gargoyle is hot hot hot. It’s gonna be a hot time in the old town tonight. It’s lava-ly isn’t it? Fun fact: I accidentally typed isn tit at first. Made me giggle. This gargoyle is going to look amazing in your home,on your roof, or wherever. You can put him on your roof, no roofies required. That’s how I usually get mine up there, and it’s wrong. I’m sorry. Now I just ask nicely.

This Magma Neckpiece Looks Lava-ly

magna necklace
This Magma Neckpiece is hot. Scorching. Women look lava-ly in magma. You make me blow my top girl! Guys, do yourself a favor and buy this for your lady. Don’t be cheap like me. *Flashes back to two years ago*

……

What is my surprise?

Just keep your blindfold on. It’s almost ready.

I’m so excited. What is it?

Well, you remember how you wanted that magma neckpiece? I made you one myself. Open your eyes.

Uh…This is like a drippy plastic melted candle…

Yeah, I opened a couple of lava lamps and dumped it on a mannequin head. Then cut the head off to make the hole. You’re welcome.

It feels hot still. Why is my shirt smoking.

Why indeed? Where did it pick up that habit? From a nun? Heh. I crack myself- Ow! I’ll grab the fire extinguisher.

Well This Is Depressing: Your Plane is On Fire and Your Children Are Gone

plane on fire artI really don’t like other humans. I do my best to avoid them and I certainly don’t want other humans visiting me in my own home, expecting me to serve them Iced Tea and offer them snacks. I’m pretty anti-social. How to keep them away though… I think I will buy this $5,750.00 oil painting titled “Your Plane is On Fire and Your Children Are Gone“.

Yeah. This should keep my home pest guest free. I’ve only just seen it and I’m already depressed. I wouldn’t want to visit me and see this on the wall.

That dude in the back looks like a young Doc Emmett Brown hitting 88mph. More like 8888mph. The old lady next to him has dropped her pills. No more bingo for her. Little cherub angels are flying around everywhere amid the screams and panic thickened air, darting to and fro, trying to snatch souls. It looks like a couple of them are in a wrestling match. It’s all a freakin’ game to these cherubs. That couple in front, they’ll just sleep through it, even though one of them has clearly brought a dog along. I think the little girl did it. With mind powers!

Man, I am all kinds of depressed now. Mostly because Marty McFly will never meet Doc Brown thanks to this painting. And if that happens, no Back To The Future movies. Great Scott! We have to go back to the past to change this!
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Devil Doll Torments Ebay Couple And Their Goats

ashley devil dollMove over Chuckie, there’s a new devil doll in town and her name is Ashley Ann. She is Satan’s newest little cheerleader and this red eyed terror has been tormenting Ebay couple hubee2you, ever since they purchased her from a mysterious estate. Her previous owners are now deceased- of natural causes? Who knows…Ashley Ann isn’t saying.
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