Tag: morbid

Coffin Beach Towel – Tan In Peace

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Coffin Beach Towel - Tan In Peace

Life’s a beach and then ya die! Might as well soak up the sun and surf on this Coffin Beach Towel. You’ll look good like you are resting in peace to the beachgoers around you. This is how us strange and unusual folks lounge at the beach. They’ll probably all start laying flower bouquets around you and crying. Saying stuff like, “Look how young she was” or “What a tragedy. Good turnout though. Must have been pretty popular”.

Now I’m crying too. And I’m still mourning for all of the jewelry in this Coffin Jewelry Box. Though I gotta say, that model is looking sexy as hell laying on that Coffin Beach Towel. Is that weird?

Skull Cigar Ashtray – Smoke ‘Em If Ya Got ‘Em

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Skull Cigar Ashtray - Smoke 'Em If Ya Got 'Em
What noble creatures we humans are. We create, we reach for the stars, we- Did you just dump your cigar ash in that Skull Cigar Ashtray? Have you no shame sir? No decency? Some dude’s brain used to be in there. Oh well. I guess he ain’t using it.

I do need a candy dish and candy sure would look good in that cranium. An everlasting gobstopper in each eye hole would give him that surprised look. Then I could lick the eyeballs all day and hopefully not get caught. I don’t know though. This skull cigar ashtray is looking at me weird. He’s kind of an ash-hole.

Black Heart Soap

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Black Heart Soap
I don’t know about you, but I like to wash my hands with the hearts of my enemies and use their hair as loofas. So naturally, I dig this Black Heart Soap. I would never fib about these dark hearts, but I might defib them if I had the equipment. I hear what you’re thinking. That aorta make better jokes. Anyway, if you have a black heart, get all sudsy with it. I’m getting these so that my roommate can have a heart attack. You know, when I throw them at him.

Floating Miniature Skulls in a Jar

DavidLeave a comment

Floating Miniature Skulls in a Jar
Shrunken skulls in a bottle are as creepy as it can get as far as desk accessories are concerned. These Floating Miniature Skulls are made to float in a jar of moss with a black net over the top. The best part is that they seem to be floating in the dark. Place them on the coffee table and watch as your guests get frightened when one of the tiny skulls stares at them. Alternatively, you can place the jar in the fridge and install a hidden camera nearby to catch your victims’ reactions. I like that one better.

This jar of shrunken skulls can also set the tone for a Halloween Ghost-themed party. It gives a special kind of spooky ambiance to the room.

Magnetic Mouse Earrings

DavidLeave a comment

Magnetic Mouse Earrings
Can you imagine walking out on the street with a mouse stuck to your earlobes? What if you met someone else wearing these magnetic mouse earrings, what would your reaction be? Is that finding your mate? As far as I’m concerned, mice earrings are just good fashion sense. They turn heads.

Probably don’t wear them to work or to a formal event or people will think that you are only there to take the piss. They are perfect for a Halloween party or dress up night in a mental institution.