Holy jumping jeebus! What we have here is a dual-injected 8 cylinder nightmare fueled suicide machine cruising down the train aisle at about 2 miles per horror. Did that sound cool? Not really a car guy. More of a moped dude. Holy Victorian hell! These two creepy life-sized Victorian dolls suddenly appeared around the city of London the other day, just doing what Victorian dolls do: Being creepy as hell, riding buses, waiting at tube stations, shopping, smiling at the screams they have created, inhaling the terror deep and being the all around mistresses in charge of the heebie-jeebies.

These dolls are being used to promote the 2016 launch of Thorpe Park, the “world’s first psychological theme park” created by illusionist Derren Brown. Oh is that what this is? Guess what? I don’t want any of that! It isn’t even opened yet and your psychological park has already jumped the gate and horribly interacted with the reality outside. Thanks for going full Jurassic Park right from the get-go.

It’s like 9 AM and I already can’t sleep tonight! Holy water ain’t gonna cut it here. You’re gonna need to sit like 4 popes on a missile, aim it at this park and pray like hell that it exorcises whatever other demons it has lurking within. Effing science creating robots Effing plagues creating zombies. And now effing Derren Brown creating this.
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