This Creepy Face Plaque goes on your wall to make it seem like some creeper is watching you from another room. This would be the one that you know about anyway. I can’t tell if he’s startled by what he’s seen or happy about it, but he’s definitely seen some sh*t. Oh yeah, you’ve seen some caca if you’re watching me. You have no idea. That’s gotta suck not being able to scratch your own nose though, so maybe help him out from time to time. Give him a little scratch is all I’m saying. A little tickle now and then. I would personally hide this on the inside of a cabinet door to scare the hell out of anyone trying to steal my snacks. So I hereby name him Snack Guardian. This creepy face plaque kinda reminds me of the old lady in the Goonies. He really should get more sleep. I mean look at those bags under the eyes. Look at that skin? Would a little moisturizer kill ya? I’m talking about some simple self care my man. No one else will love you until you love you. That’s all I’m saying. Even your damn lips are chapped.
Tag: plaque
Mystic Black Cat Plaque
A black cat is normally associated with sorcery, the spirit world, magic, and anything that is mystic and scary. You also don’t want to encounter one on Friday the 13th. All prejudice and misconceptions aside, if you stumble upon a black cat in the dark, it can be pretty scary. Especially when they look like a sorcerer/ninja like this cat. The hood comes in different colors but the cat sculpture is as close to a real-life cat as possible. The green eyes, the size of the head, and the detailing make it very lifelike. You can display this Mystic Black cat indoors or outside.
Miskatonic University Plaque – H.P. LoveCollege
Hang this Miskatonic University Plaque in your home and Cthulhu might just show up. I wrote a little poem about it.
There once was a girl from Miskatonic
Our relationship was quite plutonic
Because my peen was embryonic
She treated me like the plague bubonic
True story. It takes great pain to make art… Especially when you fall butt-first onto the pen and pencil holder.
American Horror Story: Hotel – Room 64 Door Plaque
Oh look, an American Horror Story: Hotel – Room 64 Door Plaque. What could possibly go wrong? Nothing bad ever happens in there, right? I’m just gonna hang this on my door. *Ding-Dong* A visitor already? Hello good sir? Of course you can stay here for a modest fee. I don’t make breakfast or the bed and the place is so dirty that even the roaches stay out. Enjoy your stay.
*Next day* Oh, I was sorry to hear that you were molested by our doll collection, which was possessed by demons at the time, but really controlled by the evil that is Lady Gaga, whose acting is almost as bad as her singing. Sorry you can’t have your money back. Here’s a coupon for next time that just expired.
Ancient Cthulhu Tablet For Your Wall
This Ancient Cthulhu Tablet will look great on your wall. Just one more step in making your home look like an ancient temple to the Elder God. I mean I already have a bunch of cultists chanting in the basement. They even managed to open a portal so that the ancient one can enter our realm. Except the only thing that came through was a weird three-legged frog dog so far. Hang on. *Can you guys stop chanting? I’m trying to blog here!* Where was I? I can’t concentrate with all of this noise coming from down below-
Oh poopy. Things just got dead silent. And a tentacle is reaching out from under the basement door. What is thy bidding my master? ACK! ACK! OKING ME! TENT! ACK! TENTACLE CHOKING ME!