Tag: scary

Freddy Krueger’s Tongue Phone – AT & Tongue

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Freddy Krueger's Tongue Phone - AT & Tongue
Remember Freddy Krueger’s Tongue Phone from that one Nightmare on Elm Street movie? Of course, you do. This dude is the dream master and he knows how to create the most f***ed up nightmares that will haunt you forever. This is one of those things. You just can’t unsee it. I’m not being tongue in cheek, but I bet it uses the AT & Tongue network. Maybe T-Mobile cuz I always wondered what the T stood for. Definitely not the Mint network cuz this thing does not taste like a mint while it tries to get in your mouth. In fact, it could use a mint or four. We are gonna need a bigger tin of Altoids. Freddy wants to give you a good tongue lashing. A french Freddy kiss if you will. Freddy Krueger’s Tongue Phone is all about that tongue action. I think this disturbing Freddy Krueger doll is the same way.

Imagine trying to actually have a conversation on this phone while that thing is licking and lashing to and fro. Maybe you could give it some hard candy to keep it occupied. That way you can flap your gums and it can flap itself all it wants.

Coffin Zen Garden

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Coffin Zen Garden
This Coffin Zen Garden will bring some calm into your life. After all who doesn’t want to play around with some sand in an open coffin? It comes with everything you need to have a good time. Like headstones, a gargoyle, a skull and a shovel. Now when somebody tells me to go pound sand I can actually do it and get more Zen at the same time. This also looks like it would be great for burying your action figures. So you can give GI Joe that proper sendoff.

If you like this coffin zen garden you’ll love the bleeding coffin candle.

Coffin Office Chairs – Not R.I.P-Cliners

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Coffin Office Chairs - Not R.I.P-Cliners
Stuck in your dead end job? Is your workplace dead quiet? Is your CEO the Corpse Executive Officer? If any of those apply, these Coffin Office Chairs are for you. Perfect for that funeral home with a macabre sense of humor. Or if you are the Munsters or the Adams family. Just don’t fall asleep in these chairs, someone may cover you up with a matching coffin lid and toss you in the dirt. If you have these coffin office chairs in your office along with this coffin zen garden, you’ll have a great theme that will allow you to rest in peace. Which is a great thing during those long and super boring business meetings that could have been handled via email. God I hate those. You know what I mean? Because you feel half dead during those meetings anyway. Sadly it looks like the insides of these chairs are not as fancy and lush as that of the inside of a real coffin, which means they are not as comfortable as the real deal. If you’ve ever been in one, you know what I’m talking about. If you were lucky enough to get out again that is.

Via Technabob

Little Poopers – Butt Nuggets Never Looked So Cute

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Little Poopers - Butt Nuggets Never Looked So Cute
Check out Little Poopers. Someone’s raising a stink. Who took a dump in here? And, what the deuce? Why is it….cute? A cute turd? Is that a curd? Who left it? Unicorns? Fairies? Hello Kitty riding on a unicorn with a fairy after eating too much roughage? No matter how adorable these poops may seem, they’re still stinkers. Trust me, they will draw flies. Big or small, cute or ugly, all poop stinks. But they think they’re the sh*t!. Does it make it better or worse that these turds can stare back at you? Talk about awkward eye contact. No matter where you leave one of these little poopers figurines, it will be sure to start a conversation! Or raise a stink. Much like ZooPoo.

Barbie – Shave And Play

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Shave And Play Barbie
Barbie goes Au Naturel with Shave And Play Barbie. You know Barbie? This is her slightly less-groomed cousin, Borbie. Borbie has a singular talent. Rapid and excessive hair growth. Testosterone overload! How fast can you grow a beard? Doesn’t matter. You’ve got nothing on Borbie. She discovered this propensity for body hair during the great pandemic of 2020. She had nowhere to go, no one to see, and not a soul to impress. “Why not let it all go?” she asked herself. Why not, indeed? One week of neglecting the razor soon led to two, then three, then an entire year went by. Sasquatch sightings were on the rise. Borbie was liberated. Free of the restraints of grooming, she celebrated her flowing body hair just like anyone else, with a mini dress and colorful eyeshadow. Hey, what’s wrong with that? Works for me. She has more hair on her face than a wolfman and more hair on her chest than a… manly man. I’m not even gonna talk about that other area. Also check out Cyclops Fashion Barbie. Like a true Karen, she sees everything. Whether she then asks for the manager I can’t say. But good luck finding eyewear at Pearlvision biatch.