Mummified Demon Fetus

Mummified Demon Fetus

You know how it is around here. Another day, another fetus. This one is a Mummified Demon Fetus. Truly a special breed. If you watch the seller’s video of them turning this thing around, I’m pretty sure I saw some testes as well as his little butt crack. He comes in a wooden keepsake box so you can proudly display your fetus. He’s a cute little pocket demon I guess.

A Mummified Demon Fetus. And I thought we hit the jackpot with the Unicorn Fetus. Shows what I know. So many fetuses so little womb. I mean time. So little time.

Articulated Alien Chestburster

Articulated Alien Chestburster

My chest hurts just looking at this thing. But it is kind of cute in that color. This Articulated Alien Chestburster comes in an assortment of colors in fact. You can keep him in your house, just don’t let him anywhere near your chest. It is about 24 inches of sheer terror wrapped in cute packaging. I might put this in the neighbors yard just because they piss me off. This Articulated Alien Chestburster is more like a heart burster when it surprises you in the middle of the night.

I got the Alien Chestburster Christmas Ornament, I might as well get this guy too.

Huge Spider Earring – Thank God For Wax

Huge Spider Earring - Thank God For Wax

Just when I was getting over my fear of giant spiders crawling into my ear. This Huge Spider Earring has me whimpering at night once more as I fill my ear holes with cotton and put on headphones. There I go sleeping through the alarm again. But it beats some 8-legged alien mofo laying eggs in my ear canal. If I see you wearing this, don’t be surprised if I slap it clear off your face. Ain’t no room in my life for any spider this damn big.

First it crawls in your ear. Then you become the spider and won’t even need these spider goggles.

Nightmare Halloween Pumpkin Skulls

Nightmare Halloween Pumpkin Skulls
Holy hell these are some terrifying Nightmare Halloween Pumpkin Skulls. I’ve seen my share of skeletons, skulls, bones, brains ghosts, ghouls, goblins and other assorted horrors, but I’ve never seen any skulls scarier than these. If you have these horrors on your porch this Halloween, the kids that come to your door are going to be scared senseless. You may hear a lot of screaming, followed by running on the big night. You no good little brats aren’t going to be smashing these pumpkins. These here pumpkins can defend themselves. These undead heads are hungry and ready to eat and I’m pretty sure they aren’t after any candy. In fact candy will be littering the streets this Halloween as children and adults disappear mysteriously. Which is great for me actually. I’m gonna bring a snow shovel and a pick up truck and clean it all up. Man these things are freaky looking. It is now truly a Halloween of horrors now that I have seen them. If I could find a mask like these Nightmare Halloween Pumpkin Skulls, I would so win Halloween and get whatever prize one gets for winning the best part of October. Also check out these cool pumpkin appendages.

The Shining Twins Halloween Christmas Ornaments

The Shining Twins Halloween Christmas OrnamentsIf you have a Halloween tree, and if you don’t why the hell not?, check out The Shining Twins Halloween Christmas Ornaments. Great for the Halloween and or Christmas tree. I know you remember these creepy kids from Stanley Kubrick’s The Shining, which is based on Stephen King’s The Shining. Which are both based on the shining of tons and tons of money down into the hands of both men. They deserve it by the way. Even today when I’m riding my big wheel down hotel corridors, I dread running into this pair. Yes, I’m a grown man who rides his big wheel in hotels, so what? What’s wrong with that? I also say REDRUM for no apparent reason sometimes, but really I’m fine. But never mind that. These terror twins are a duo of danger and a couple of cuckoo kids. They are some deadly doppelgangers and now you can decorate with them during the holidays. There they are, blood all over them because God only knows what shenanigans the Shining Twins have been up to. One can only imagine.

The Universal Monsters Halloween ornaments are another great choice if you want to make the holidays a bit more creepy.