Tag: tongue

Tongue Earrings – You Have Good Taste…Buds

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Tongue Earrings - You Have Good Taste...Buds
Well, these Tongue Earrings will certainly lick the competition. I think this is the first time I’ve ever seen pierced ears holding something else that is pierced. I was always told that a tongue in the ear was highly inappropriate, but I guess not. It’s not exactly my taste, but… I wonder if they leave your neck all moist as they swing and sway. They will give your ears real tongue-lashing.

Anyway, yes, these tongue earrings exist, and that is just the world we are living in. What else can I even say? It leaves me flabbergasted, Positively tongue-tied. If you like this, you’ll love the Freddy Krueger Tongue Phone.

Freddy Krueger’s Tongue Phone – AT & Tongue

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Freddy Krueger's Tongue Phone - AT & Tongue
Remember Freddy Krueger’s Tongue Phone from that one Nightmare on Elm Street movie? Of course, you do. This dude is the dream master and he knows how to create the most f***ed up nightmares that will haunt you forever. This is one of those things. You just can’t unsee it. I’m not being tongue in cheek, but I bet it uses the AT & Tongue network. Maybe T-Mobile cuz I always wondered what the T stood for. Definitely not the Mint network cuz this thing does not taste like a mint while it tries to get in your mouth. In fact, it could use a mint or four. We are gonna need a bigger tin of Altoids. Freddy wants to give you a good tongue lashing. A french Freddy kiss if you will. Freddy Krueger’s Tongue Phone is all about that tongue action. I think this disturbing Freddy Krueger doll is the same way.

Imagine trying to actually have a conversation on this phone while that thing is licking and lashing to and fro. Maybe you could give it some hard candy to keep it occupied. That way you can flap your gums and it can flap itself all it wants.

Licki Brush Lets You Lick Your Cat Back

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licki brush
The Licki Brush. What’s weird about this? Doesn’t everybody put a fake tongue in their mouth to lick their cat? I know if I don’t lick my cat at least once a day, she gets ticked off. What? Oh, okay. Let’s just get all of the p**** licking jokes out of the way. Are you done yet? *Sigh* So immature.

Anyway, you have to use this device to lick your cat, cuz otherwise you get hairballs. And a human hacking up hairballs is a nasty sight. Trust me on that one my friends. Not that I’ve ever used a similar device. I just heard things. What are you trying to imply? Look, I ain’t no dirty cat licker! Thems fightin’ words. Put up your dukes. I’m gonna- *ACK….ACK…COUGH* Now that that’s out of my system, and all over your floor, come at me bro!

Video that you can never unsee below.
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Get Clean Lickety Split With Tongue Soap

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tongue soap
Dogs do it. Cats do it. You should too. I’m not talking about licking your own butt while you stick your leg in the air like some carnival freak. I am talking about cleaning yourself. With your tongue. Your soap tongue. This Human Tongue Soap will get you clean, but may leave you feeling dirty.

It’s perfect for bathing with your partner. Hey, can you tongue under my arms? I have some serious BO. Also, my butt is really dirty today. It needs some extra tongue. Yeah right there. That’s a little tongue in cheek humor, right there.

You can also get the “With Teeth” soap dish shown to go with it if you want to be really weird.

10 Terrifying And Toothy Items You Can Buy On Etsy

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teeth necklaceTeeth. Why do so many Etsy sellers make things from or about teeth? Why so obsessed? Ya’ll are gross. I said that all southern like to make my point. You guys are just nasty. Click through for a bunch of freaky teeth related Etsy finds that you can really sink your teeth into.
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