Oh Hello Kitty OMFG!

Oh Hello Kitty OMFG!
Oh Hello Kitty OMFG! This horrific kitty of nightmares is everyone’s favorite kitty, but all funked up! She’s cute, she’s cuddly, she’s… Carnivorous?She’s my murderer! Oh, holy crap! Hello Kitty has a new addition to her adorable face. Pink perky bow, adorable pointy ears, sweet little whiskers….What’s this? Those are monster tentacles! And an open mouth of death with crooked human teeth! Plus, strings of sticky, slimy drool! This horrific kitty beast needs some dental work, pronto. And, maybe a bib while we are at it. Is that drool? Damn girl, get a napkin at least. Control yourself, Hello Kitty! How do you feel about tentacles? She says that they are all the better to squeeze you with. Hello Kitty’s got three! Don’t get too close! I hear she does body cavity searches at with those things. Probably works at an airport.

At least I don’t see any claws on Hello Kitty like these rhinestone claw nail rings. That mouth is dangerous enough and I bet her whiskers are razor sharp. One thing is for sure, I will never look at this character the same way again. I also really hope that she doesn’t look at me. Ever. Just please don’t even notice me.

Gothic Christmas Gift Tags

Gothic Christmas Gift Tags
These Gothic Christmas Gift Tags add a macabre touch to the holiday Ho, ho, ho! Merry…coffin? Feliz-Na-Vi-Dead? The holidays may be a time for fun, joy, and lights, but it needs a grisly touch here and there. Delight your goth friends and horrifying stick up the bum relatives with these one-of-a-kind, skull-adorned gothic Christmas gift tags. Up your ghoulish gift wrapping game! Pair these beauties with Christmas wrap, old newspaper obituaries, paper bags, or eviction notices for a memorable gift unwrapping experience. Who cares what Aunt Bertha thinks? Inflict a little shock and horror into the whole holiday. Besides, they’re pretty tasteful, right? Merry f***king Christmas.

Oh and have a look at these cool Krampus Gift Tags.

Cootie Collection Enamel Pins

Cootie Collection Enamel Pins
Cooties are bad. Ewww! Girls have them, which is why I don’t touch girls. Why they don’t touch me is another story. You won’t want to keep these Cootie Collection Enamel Pins away! These gals are pretty cute actually. Creepy and cute. Just how I like my gals. Big eyes. Colorful skin. And, they are all monsters. I used to avoid cooties. Yuck! Now I say GIVE ME THOSE COOTIES! Pin them to your shirt, bag, jacket, or anywhere. It’s a whole collection! Change them out and wear your favorites, or use them all at once. It’s your call. You decide. Cootie Cuties that’s what I call ’em.

If you want something a bit darker than the Cootie Collection, check out this Vampire Bat Pin. Cuz some days you feel like accessorizing with little demon girls and other times you want something more traditionally Gothic. Do you have a Cootie Collection? I mean I have some that I keep in a jar whenever one jumps off of a girl onto me, but I haven’t added to it for a while. I just don’t get that close to girls. Cuz I’m too cool and they can’t handle it. Hey, sucks to be them.

Cyclops Fashion Barbie – Hey My Eye Is Up Here

Cyclops Fashion Barbie - Hey My Eye Is Up Here

Meet Cyclops Fashion Barbie. Time for a makeover, Barbie! What’s that? You want bigger eyes? Turn up ALL the filters, because you’re about to get your wish. Why have two small eyes, when you could have… One. Bigass. Eyeball? All-seeing? What is there for Barbie to see, anyway? Ken’s gone, the dream house has burned, and all she’s got is her looks. Keep looking, Barbie. Maybe you’ll find another plastic sucker like Ken to gold-dig! All you ever do is take take take! I’m done. You never ask me about MY day. *sobs*.

I don’t have issues, you have issues.

Keep your eye on this one, folks. She’s got her eye on you. Dress her up. Take her out. Or keep her in the corner looking creepy. Cyclops Fashion Barbie, includes terrifying, yet stylish accessories, batteries sold separately. Because, trust me, you don’t want this one coming to life. Just like these other creepy dolls.

Demented Doll Face Horror Brooch

Demented Doll Face Horror Brooch
Good God! What is that Demented Doll Face pinned to your shirt? Did it burst out of your chest? This soulless doll is for attention-seekers. She is eating her own ever-lovin eyeball! What does that taste like? Chicken. It’s always chicken! Her creepy, all-seeing, little eye stares from between her lips, staring and saying wassup. Where did she come from? Heaven? Hell? The underworld? The upside-down? The answer is obvious. Hell. Gotta be hell. Is it me or does the eyeball follow you? Glad you had a good lunch, lady. She is the epitome of a gothic, creepy, cyclops head.

I’m calling her Iris for obvious reasons. When you wear this little gem, all eyes are going to be on you. Not just the one in her mouth. Plus, are those eyelids sealed shut? Maybe she shiftf her eyes between her eye-sockets and her mouth. It’s more nightmare-inducing the more you think about it. I bet the only way to kill this demented doll face is to put it in front of a mirror. Or make it face off against the Eyeball Door Knob.