This Edgar Allan Poe Bronze Bust is so scary awesome. It’s so good I asked the seller if I could get it bigger. “Can you increase my bust size?”, I said. They said yes and I said, “Cool. Currently, I’m looking at an A cup, but I’m eyeing a pair of Cs.” Then I put my binoculars down as they hung up. True story.
Tag: scary
Metal Bird Skull Cabinet Knobs
These Metal Bird Skull Cabinet Knobs are cool. “Hey, where do you keep your glasses?” Oh, it’s the cabinet on the right, with the dead bird skull on it. Not the ones that are, you know, normal. Cuz I don’t do normal. And not the ones with miniature human skulls on them. That’s where I keep… Other things. I shouldn’t have even mentioned it. Just forget it.
Stained Glass Ravens
You don’t see too many Stained Glass Ravens in the wild. Probably because they shatter so easily. But these will look great in your yard or home. It’s the perfect decor for your already Goth and spooky abode. You can never have too many ravens. If you had none, you would have nothing to rave about after all. Man, I really crack myself up, but not really cuz I’m not made of glass.
Chilled Monkey Brains Sculpture
This Chilled Monkey Brains Sculpture reminds me of that Scene from Indiana Jones, but I like my monkey brains like James Bond. Shaken, not stirred. Notice, I didn’t say Monkee brains, cuz that would be extra weird. Just to be clear I have never partaken from the brains of the 1960s band. Put this on the table this Thanksgiving and watch your family clear out real quick. That’s why I ordered two.
Disturbies Horror Dolls
What the shizz?!!? Uh… You ugly. These Disturbies Horror Dolls are well named. Everything about ’em is disturbing. Look at that smile? What the hell he just eat that’s dripping all out his nasty mouth? Dude is like a fetus with a 50-year-old’s hair too. How? Why? Oh, I see. The seller says it is “born from flesh, blood, pus, spunk, and everything wrong. For you to love and cherish. Forever.”
Yeah, that clears it all up. That is one creepy doll.