This is some footage of Bigfoot supposedly captured by a drone. I’m not convinced. For one thing, Bigfoots have huge wangs and they don’t wear pants. Since I don’t see anything swinging around, I’m thinking this is a smallfoot at the very least, cuz small feet equals small junk. Plus, this video is presented by someone who sells drones. Which they remind you of a few times before moving on to other non-drone Bigfoot footage. Still no big swinging wangs. Call me skeptical. Pro tip: Always look for the Bigfoot wang.
Tag: seems legit
Stink Yourself Slim
Basically the idea behind this Stink Yourself Slim is that you spray this stuff in your kitchen and it makes you not want to eat food. So you lose weight. Sounds legit. I was seriously looking into it, because as my wife said when I was reaching for one of those limited edition rubbermaid bins of Doritos with the prize inside, “I would call you a fat tubby bast**d, except you don’t fit in the tub. You disgust me!”
That was when she slapped my hand and experimented with her own kitchen spray, spraying me with a face full of mace!
“My eyes! My eyes!” I was wreathing around on the floor like a fat man breakdancing, eyes burning and crying. “Are the Doritos okay?” I tried to feel for them with my arm. “It burns! It stinks!”
“Then stink yourself thin you sorry man baby! And when you can see again, clean this lard lair up. Or I swear I will strangle you like the slug you are. Princess Leia style.”
Long story short, I didn’t eat all night. Sprays in the kitchen are the way to go.
This Must Be That iWatch I’ve Been Hearing About
Oh yeah. That’s the iWatch I’ve been hearing about all over the interwebs. Yep. It’s shaped like an apple alright. And I bet it has all kinds of crazy apps. Stuff like an app telling me how much I will fart based on my current intake of beer and pretzels and an app that will tell me how much fat I’m not burning as I order my sweet new watch online.
It’s a lot cheaper than I thought it would be. Haha suckers! I’m getting mine now, not waiting in some line for 5 days hoping to be blessed by Steve Job’s ghost as you enter the ancient and sacred temple of Tak’a’ma’money.