What the hell is that? Get it away! Kill it with fire! Wanna scare the bejesus out of someone? Mess with them using this Realistic RC Spider Remote Control Toy. That’s what I did. I’m responsible for like 3 heart attacks, 2 fainting spells, some dude reaching for a pill in his pocket and 1 case of bowel evacuation, although to be fair, she did have tacos that day. This thing is too much fun. For the one controlling it. Other people? Not so much.
Tag: tarantula
Spider Summoner Tarantula Pendant – Summon What Now?
Let me see if I have this right. You want me to wear this Spider Summoner Tarantula Pendant? Which has a spider on it? Which will summon other spiders? Like Tarantulas? Are you out of your GD mind? How about a spider-killer summoner? I’d wear that. No way I’m inviting more spiders up in here. I don’t have enough cups to put over them like domes. I’m already tripping over all of the upside down glasses I have on the floor cuz I’ll trap them, but I ain’t taking them out. Slept walked the other night and kicked them all over and now I have an infestation all over again. I need to summon a spider taker-outer.
No Thank You – Large Plush Spiders
Zootoys has a few of these soft nightmares to choose from. Large Plush Spiders require large plush flyswatters or bigger boots. What has 8 eyes, is completely harmless and scares the bejesus out of me, so that I have to shred it with a knife until it’s stuffing flies everywhere? These things. I don’t care if they are real or plush, spiders is spiders and nature’s scurrying nightmare!
Read more “No Thank You – Large Plush Spiders”
This Needle Felted Tarantula Is Scary, Hairy Too
As if I didn’t have enough things to fear. Why would they create this Needle Felted Tarantula? That is one hairy looking, scary looking piece of horror that is about to get stomped on by my foot. Well, it would get stomped, if I wasn’t cowering in terror right now, hunched over my keyboard inside of a tent. I think I covered every hole big enough for a spider to get through. I used glue, staples, duct tape, a sock and some gummi bears. Why do I even look at the internet?
Fun fact: I used to think spiders ate eyes, because people told me they have eight eyes. Now I honestly don’t know which is creepier. Also once thought they ate people’s legs when in fact they have eight legs. Anyway, I’m safe now in my little sanctuary. Look at that thing. All hairy and gross. What are you Hairy Houdini? I’m not afraid in my tent. Bring it on. You would have to be Houdini to get in here. I- OH F**K! IT WAS ALREADY IN THE TENT!