Complain, complain, complain! Let me play the world’s smallest violin. That’s right. It really exists and I’m really playing it. Now listen as it provides the proper ambiance and atmosphere for your whining.
You’re really playing it.
That’s right.
I thought that was just a saying.
It was. Now it’s a real thing, because I’m awesome. It sounds amazing. *Snap.* Nuts! Broke a string. Now I gotta find the world’s smallest violin repairman.
*Picks up guitar and starts pluckin’ all twangy and southern. Sings.*
Well I prefer hobbits to Lorena Bobbitts.
Yes I prefer Hobbits to Lorena Bobbitts.
I don’t need no Frodo
slicing up my scroto.
Don’t need no Lady Bilbo
cutting off their own *beep*
It rhymes with Bilbo. Heh heh. Well, that’s all I have so far, but I’m hoping to get the final track included in the next epic 9 hour nerd-fest. I just wanted to pop in and say how cool these Hobbit Hole Playhouse Kits are. They come from Etsy seller Hobbitholes. There’s plenty of room inside for a nerd and a cat. *So basically, you’re house hunting?* Oh har de har har. Aren’t you a barrel of laughs. But seriously, do you think I can swing the mortgage on this baby? I have a down payment of a half eaten pack of Rolos and some Starburst wrappers.
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