So two clowns break into some guy’s house and surprisingly, they didn’t trash the place and leave balloon animals everywhere. Also surprising that it was only two clowns and that they didn’t get out of a full clown-packed tiny car. Though they did swap out his doorbell for one that now sprays water in your face when you push the button. Clowns are evil, I think we can all agree on that. Is there anything more disturbing than discovering footage of a clown break-in in your home? Even scarier, the guy who owns the house says there is no video of them leaving the house. Did they go out the window? Exit to another dimension?
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Tag: house
Vampire Bat Door Knocker
What could be more welcoming than a Vampire Bat Door Knocker? That’s the kind of house I would walk up to and say, “Nice knockers!” and mean it. Gonna need a door mat to go with my door bat though. So Gothic, so spooky.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Bat.
Bat who?
Bat-choo. I’m a bat with a cold! Which means I can only take Nyquil, not Dayquil. Cuz I’m a bat see? I’m also batsy!
Frankenstein and Bride of Frankenstein Bar Stools
So Frankenstein and Bride of Frankenstein walk into a bar… That’s all I got, cuz I was so scared I left. But if you want them to visit your bar, get these cool Frankenstein and Bride of Frankenstein Bar Stools. Even monsters need a place to park their rumps. At least that’s what my wife says every time I enter the room, plop down into the chair and break it into a million pieces.
One chair has Franky’s face and the other features his bride’s face. If you buy these and put them in your home, they WILL come and run up a tab. I’ll come too as long as we have a tab going. I’ll have what he’s having. Even though he’s only having it cuz his wife’s face looks like that. Hey. don’t groan at me Frank, you married her.
May Cthulhu Eat This House Last – Cross Stitch
True that! Put this May Cthulhu Eat This House Last – Cross Stitch on your door and Cthulhu will be full by the time he gets to you. Technically, if we all put these on our door, everyone will be safe because we can’t all be last, yet Cthulhu will obey the command. Now we beat him using logic! High five everybody!
*A hellish wind kicks up. Rips the cross stitch off my door.* Oh f**k!
Gothic Vampire Hunter’s Dollhouse
Sweet! Now I have a place for my vampire hunting dolls. What? Of course Ken can be a Vampire hunter. He’s gotta do something when Barbie is home all day acting like a diva. Check out the video below. This Gothic Vampire Hunter’s Dollhouse is fully decorated and ready for your dolls to move in. If it was bigger, I would move in. And be the best damn Vampire hunter I could be. Which is easy cuz there’s no Vampires here. Already did my job! Cuz I rock.
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