Damn. This Vampire Bat Amulet Necklace looks pissed off. He’s all like, “I am soooo f**king ticked off right now! I don’t even know what to say right now, so I’m just gonna look all shouty.” Classy, but man that bat looks mad as hell. Somebody give that dude a sedative stat! Amulet? More like a damned-ulet! *High fives the indoor house plant next to me.* Okay, calm down bat. I’m wrapping it up. Stop yelling at me. No, I don’t just prattle on forever. You’re a real dick ya know that? Fine, I’m out. You need anger management. No, obviously you do NOT manage it well. Good day sir! I said good day!
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Tag: vampire bat
Vampire Bat Door Knocker
What could be more welcoming than a Vampire Bat Door Knocker? That’s the kind of house I would walk up to and say, “Nice knockers!” and mean it. Gonna need a door mat to go with my door bat though. So Gothic, so spooky.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Bat.
Bat who?
Bat-choo. I’m a bat with a cold! Which means I can only take Nyquil, not Dayquil. Cuz I’m a bat see? I’m also batsy!
This Vampire Bat Ring Covers All Your Fingers
This Vampire Bat Ring covers my need for brass knuckles and bat jewelry in one handy ring. Bat-Knuckles is really what we have here. Mug me? No way! *BAM* Bat to the face! Now what’s up? Come at me bro! It’s about to get all batty up in this bizzelfry! That’s what I’m talking about! Some bat self defense. Okay, so maybe this bat ring wasn’t made for that, but it’s a cool bonus. This ring will cover all your fingers like you are getting a hug from a bat wing.