Oh man, these Alien Body Mummified Remains are freaky. It’s like Roswell all over again. Looks like Roger from American Dad, only more shriveled and fighting allergies from hell. Unless those puffy eyes are lady-parts. You never know with aliens. I’m gonna bust the government E.T. conspiracy wide open. I’ll set up an old black and white camera and do an autopsy. An alien autopsy. I don’t think that’s ever been done before. Right? What? Oh right. Well, I was in a coma for most of the 90s.
A government induced coma. Because I knew too much about the alien agenda- BRB doorbell.
A man dressed in black just called me Rip Van Winkle and told me to shut my stupid truth-hole unless I want another long nappy time. So I’m out.