Time to collect some 3D Printed Grey Aliens From Roswell. I can pose these guys by their downed UFO and put some army men around them. Relive that history that the government is trying to hide from us. Then I’ll wake up and discover I have missing time, and I’ll forget ever buying and playing with them. I love all of the colors cuz each color is a different rank of alien. The grey ones are the low guys on the totem pole. They have to do all the butt-stuff.
Tag: roswell
Roswell Alien Refrigerator Magnet
This Roswell Alien Refrigerator Magnet will be a great dietary tool for me, cuz everytime I go in the fridge for a snack, I’ll be reminded that aliens probe human butts. And I don’t want any of that bizz.
You know what, I really want some ice cream. Oh no! Not the alien head again. Their version of Double Fudge Delight is not the same as mine. And it involves a cold table and weird alien tools. Yeah, I’ll just go hungry.
Roswell Alien Sculpture
This is an alien from Roswell. You remember that UFO crash? It was in all the papers, until they hushed everyone up and secretly made friends with the aliens, trading Easter peeps for technology. Anyway, this Roswell Alien Sculpture is all like, “Hey man, wasup? We just kinda crashed in your yard. It will take us about 4 hours to fix this old hunk of junk, so in the meantime hows about dropping them pants and lettin’ us probe you? What say you human?”
This thing is gonna look sweet in my front yard once I get some plaster and make him anatomically correct. See why my neighbors love me?
Roswell 1947 Bracelet
The aliens that crash landed in Roswell New Mexico in 1947 were probably drunk driving. Or texting maybe. Or making sweet love with their fingers like Mr. Spock does. They crashed during a lightning storm. Well, these alien’s misfortune can be your gain. Because you get to own this cool Roswell 1947 Bracelet. The seller says:
The saucer section of this sterling silver bracelet is embedded in a field of many small pieces of metal that have been fused and soldered to the bracelet cuff to simulate earth.
I’m a little bummed at the lack of alien corpses, bongs and beer can debri, but it’s pretty awesome.
Alien Body Mummified Remains
Oh man, these Alien Body Mummified Remains are freaky. It’s like Roswell all over again. Looks like Roger from American Dad, only more shriveled and fighting allergies from hell. Unless those puffy eyes are lady-parts. You never know with aliens. I’m gonna bust the government E.T. conspiracy wide open. I’ll set up an old black and white camera and do an autopsy. An alien autopsy. I don’t think that’s ever been done before. Right? What? Oh right. Well, I was in a coma for most of the 90s.
A government induced coma. Because I knew too much about the alien agenda- BRB doorbell.
A man dressed in black just called me Rip Van Winkle and told me to shut my stupid truth-hole unless I want another long nappy time. So I’m out.