Tag: gray

3D Alien Heads

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3D Alien Heads

If you are looking for some framed art for your walls, you can’t do better than these out there 3D Alien Heads. You’ve heard the reports of them walking through walls before they abduct some innocent guy as they are just minding their own business doing the old five knuckle shuffle in bed. Well, this is what they look like as they come through your wall. Pretty scary stuff. Not only do you get caught yanking and cranking, but now you are abducted too. They have no shame.

I need some damn Alien Beer if I’m gonna go through another long drawn out abduction. Why do you keep picking me? You brought the lube this time right? Thank God for small miracles.

Victorian Alien Photograph Art Print

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Victorian Alien Photograph Art Print
Damn, they really have been here for a long time. This guy really should have put on a bowler hat and a mustache though if he wanted to blend in. This Victorian Alien Photograph Art Print depicts the father of the father of the father of the alien that abducted me last Tuesday. I’d recognize that face anywhere. Nah. Maybe not. They all look the same to me. Is that racist? Alien-ist? I’ll make up for it by calling them Native outer space non-Americans. Cool? Now that your panties are all un-bunched, I wonder if this guy wore a monocle and smoked a pipe. Cuz that’s what mine does. Hang on. You know what? I think I may have been abducted by one of those steampunk cosplayer peeps. So nevermind.

Set of 10 Alien Crayons – Gray-ola

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Set of 10 Alien Crayons - Gray-ola
Here ya go little Timmy. Take these alien crayons and draw a nice picture for the psychologist, so you can show him what the alien who abducted you looks like. *Looks at the drawing.* Are you sure this is accurate Timmy? Good. *Looks at drawing. Looks at psychologist. Looks back at drawing. Back at psychologist.*

It was you all along Doc! I should have known by your name, Edstra Trey Estreal! And your gray complexion!

I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren’t for those meddling crayons! *Rips his fake human skin off and hops on the wall like Spider-man, before crashing through the window and escaping.*

Gray Alien Stuffed Plush ExtraTerrestrial

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Gray Alien Stuffed Plush ExtraTerrestrial
WTF?! Hey you guys aren’t supposed to come until the dead of night. I thought we had a deal. Who’s your green friend? The alien Hulk? No, let me guess, he just gets UFO sick and spends the whole trip puking and turning green. What? Your supervisor? What’s he doing here? Checking out your prostate probing productivity? A trip P evaluation then. Hey Greenie, you ain’t the boss of me. Him yeah. Not me. HAhahahaha. That picture makes it look like someone yanked your UFO hat off your head.

OW! You really forced me down there. Oh, we’re starting already? Just lasered my pants right off huh. Well, I hope your supe gives you a good evaluation.

This Gray Alien Stuffed Plush ExtraTerrestrial also comes in green. One is the boss, the other the lackey. Two and a half feet tall. Life-sized!

Alien Body Mummified Remains

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Alien Body Mummified Remains
Oh man, these Alien Body Mummified Remains are freaky. It’s like Roswell all over again. Looks like Roger from American Dad, only more shriveled and fighting allergies from hell. Unless those puffy eyes are lady-parts. You never know with aliens. I’m gonna bust the government E.T. conspiracy wide open. I’ll set up an old black and white camera and do an autopsy. An alien autopsy. I don’t think that’s ever been done before. Right? What? Oh right. Well, I was in a coma for most of the 90s.

A government induced coma. Because I knew too much about the alien agenda- BRB doorbell.

A man dressed in black just called me Rip Van Winkle and told me to shut my stupid truth-hole unless I want another long nappy time. So I’m out.