Until I saw these, I thought I was the king of Custom Horror Hand Towels. Of course mine were created by neglect and never washing them. And lots and lots of mold. These are much nicer. They feature embroidered images of Michael Myers, Jason, Freddy Krueger and The Shining. The real horror is germs people. Don’t be like me. Man,I can’t wait to wipe my hands on Freddy’s smug face. I’m so sick of that guy invading my dreams.
Category: Just Plain Weird
Eyeball Hair Chopstick Because Why Not?
The Eyeball Hair Chopstick takes a chopstick and adds an eyeball. Then just to add some extra grossness, they added some hair. That way, both an eyeball and a clump of hair can fall in your food. Nah. I’m just kidding. It doesn’t have hair, but you are supposed to put it in your hair. Keep it in your hair and when you eat, just take it out, then put it back in after you eat, even if its all nasty from food. As a bonus, the eyeball optic nerves are wrapping around the chopstick. Its all pretty corny….a. Cornea.
The Ring Movie Bookmark – Oh Hells No! No Way!
No way I’m trusting this The Ring Movie Bookmark to hold my place in a book. Bizatch is gonna crawl outta my book like she already does my TV and cause all kinds of hell. All while looking and acting creepy. You need to take a shower and wash that damn hair,maybe put a nice dress on. You can’t complain you don’t have a guy when you aren’t even trying girl!
Vampire And Werewolf Repelling Soaps May Save Your Life
Do I need Vampire And Werewolf Repelling Soaps? Nah. I don’t need to repel vampires or werewolves with soap. I’m more like a werewolf who is repelled by soap itself. Whhhhhew! Things are getting rank around here. Anyway, these soaps are what you need to keep bloodsuckers and hairy beasts away. Each 3oz bar of anti-werewolf soap contains colloidal silver, holy water and rosemary. The vampire one has garlic and holy water in it. Just like garlic bread made fresh from the vatican!
via Geekologie
Vampire in Coffin Table Lamp
You know the best part about this Vampire in Coffin Table Lamp? It showed me how to beat vampires. Just put a lamp over their coffin. That way they can’t get out. Cuz of the light.
That’s not sunlight dumbass.
*Mocks you* “That’s not sunlight.” Idiot. Where do you think light bulbs come from? They capture sunlight and put it in a bulb. Duh. That’s how light works. Here’s another fun fact: Even water from the Pope’s toilet is holy water and will kill most vampires. But that may just be cuz of germs.