Tag: eyeball

Demented Doll Face Horror Brooch

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Demented Doll Face Horror Brooch
Good God! What is that Demented Doll Face pinned to your shirt? Did it burst out of your chest? This soulless doll is for attention-seekers. She is eating her own ever-lovin eyeball! What does that taste like? Chicken. It’s always chicken! Her creepy, all-seeing, little eye stares from between her lips, staring and saying wassup. Where did she come from? Heaven? Hell? The underworld? The upside-down? The answer is obvious. Hell. Gotta be hell. Is it me or does the eyeball follow you? Glad you had a good lunch, lady. She is the epitome of a gothic, creepy, cyclops head.

I’m calling her Iris for obvious reasons. When you wear this little gem, all eyes are going to be on you. Not just the one in her mouth. Plus, are those eyelids sealed shut? Maybe she shiftf her eyes between her eye-sockets and her mouth. It’s more nightmare-inducing the more you think about it. I bet the only way to kill this demented doll face is to put it in front of a mirror. Or make it face off against the Eyeball Door Knob.

Santa’s Evil Eye Christmas Ornament

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Santa's Evil Eye Christmas Ornament
Santa really is watching you. Like a cyclops with a milky eye. Keep an eye on the kids this year by hanging this Santa’s Evil Eye Christmas Ornament on your tree.

You better watch out
You better not cry
Better not pout
I’m telling you why
Santa Claus has only got one eye.

He’s making a list
And checking it twice(Has too since he only has one damn eye)
Gonna find out Who’s naughty and nice
Santa Claus is half-blind in his one eye….

Fur Jacket With Light-Up Monster Eyes That Glow

DavidLeave a comment

Fur Jacket With Light-Up Monster Eyes That Glow
If you are the king of the dancehall like I am, you have no problem showing everybody how it’s done. Just promise to go easy on your stiff friends. Or you can get them this fur jacket so that they can be the center of attention at least this once on the dance floor. Nah. I’ll wear this myself. This Fur Jacket With Light-Up Monster Eyes That Glow is filled with big monster eyes of different colors. The fur acts like eyelashes, which is a bonus. Finally, people can stop focusing on how awful you are at dancing and focus on your many eyes.

Eyeball Door Knob

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Eyeball Door Knob
Knock knock. Who’s there? My. My who? My eye is killing me everytime you open that door! This Eyeball Door Knob lets you get a nice big handful of eyeball when entering a room. It’s an oddball and an eyeball. Who owns this thing? The eyes. The eyes have it. I’m getting this and naming it Iris. It’s perfect for an observatory if you know what I mean.

Eyeball Hair Chopstick Because Why Not?

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Eyeball Hair Chopstick Because Why Not?
The Eyeball Hair Chopstick takes a chopstick and adds an eyeball. Then just to add some extra grossness, they added some hair. That way, both an eyeball and a clump of hair can fall in your food. Nah. I’m just kidding. It doesn’t have hair, but you are supposed to put it in your hair. Keep it in your hair and when you eat, just take it out, then put it back in after you eat, even if its all nasty from food. As a bonus, the eyeball optic nerves are wrapping around the chopstick. Its all pretty corny….a. Cornea.