Black Death Soap. Do you use this to get rid of the black death or do you get it from the soap? I have no idea, but I know there is a plague doctor right on front. So I know it’s plague doctor approved. I’m just not sure what his intentions are. What kind of business does he have his beak in now? You can’t trust them. I heard if you let them peck some seed out of your hand, they’ll give you the really good medicine. You know what I’m talkin; bout! The good stuff. Black Plague or not, you will be on cloud nine, and you won’t care what happened to clouds one through eight.

I’m talking Robitussin obviously. Which goes by the street name ‘Tussin. Also Nyquil. If you’re anything like me, after two doses you won’t care that the bird in that rainy back alley behind the Quickie Mart isn’t a real plague doctor. You’re just happy he prescribed the good stuff.