Tag: cat bed

Gothic Cat Tree & Coffin Bed

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Gothic Cat Tree & Coffin Bed

Does your cat appreciate Gothic style? I know mine does. I have 3. My Goth gang. Word up yo! They will love this. Is this product crazy or awesome. I’m not sure, but I’m ordering one right now. This Gothic Cat Tree & Coffin Bed is a stylish and dark resting place for your pet. It has a coffin shaped platform and even has a hanging spider they can play with and batt around. Spooky! I love it. You know your cat deserves one.

Just ask the Haunted Cat Tarot Deck if you don’t believe me. I get all of my answers by communing with the cat spirits. Yeah boi! I’m getting a Gothic Cat Tree & Coffin Bed! well my cats are. It is purrrfect! The cat’s meow. The bees knees. You kitties are getting a Gothic gift, so be nice to me for once. No more jumping on me in the middle of the night. My scratches still haven’t healed. I’ll have to get you some kind of cemetery motif to display near this thing too. You can put all of your dead mice there, which would make a nice change from the bed or in my shoes. You cats are weird.

Trick Your Cat With The Cat Lap

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

cat lapI look so damn good in my new pants. So nice and clean. Man, check out my sweet man-butt. I’ll just sit down and relax for a minute. Kitty, no! No, kitty! That’s a bad kitty. Now I look like Chewbacca.

Yep. I’ve been there and you’ve been there. Cats just don’t give a f***. They are the creatures that invented the lap dance. They don’t even ask for cash or get some guy to hit you when you touch them. But they do leave hair all over your clothes.

That’s why I’m using one of these decoy cat laps with the crazy mom jeans. Let my cat get all up in that lap and leave it’s atomic hairballs behind. The lap is the only part of you they want anyway.
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Coffin Shaped Pet Bed For That Final Cat Nap

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

coffin cat bedThis $45 coffin bed for pets prepares your pet every night for that final deep sleep. If you are pissed off at your pet send them a clear message with this bed.

I guess the upside is that if fluffy doesn’t wake up one day, you can just put a lid on it and start digging. Your cat will be a real Nest-faratu when they lounge in this bed. They might even start sleeping through the day and roaming your house at night. Wait-

Mine already does that. And those aren’t mosquito bites on my neck. I think I need a ball of string and a wood stake.

Click through for more pics of this bed complete with the vampire cats who love it.
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