Tag: bed

Gothic Cat Tree & Coffin Bed

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Gothic Cat Tree & Coffin Bed

Does your cat appreciate Gothic style? I know mine does. I have 3. My Goth gang. Word up yo! They will love this. Is this product crazy or awesome. I’m not sure, but I’m ordering one right now. This Gothic Cat Tree & Coffin Bed is a stylish and dark resting place for your pet. It has a coffin shaped platform and even has a hanging spider they can play with and batt around. Spooky! I love it. You know your cat deserves one.

Just ask the Haunted Cat Tarot Deck if you don’t believe me. I get all of my answers by communing with the cat spirits. Yeah boi! I’m getting a Gothic Cat Tree & Coffin Bed! well my cats are. It is purrrfect! The cat’s meow. The bees knees. You kitties are getting a Gothic gift, so be nice to me for once. No more jumping on me in the middle of the night. My scratches still haven’t healed. I’ll have to get you some kind of cemetery motif to display near this thing too. You can put all of your dead mice there, which would make a nice change from the bed or in my shoes. You cats are weird.

Mom Spots Ghost Baby Climbing Into Son’s Bed

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Mom Spots Ghost Baby Climbing Into Son's Bed
A mom claims that she spotted a ghost baby climbing into the bed of her 18-month-old son and lying next to him on a baby monitor.

First of all, let me just say that it was late, I was stumbling home and got the wrong house. I thought I was laying down next to my teddy bear. I did think that it was odd that Teddy smelled like s**t and piss, but since I always smell that way, I don’t judge. Also odd that I now had a crib, but whatevs. Stuff happens. Sorry about all the puke. Also, I was glowing cuz I ordered the “full fukushima” at the local bar. The good news is, the more you pee, the more that glow goes away. The bad news is it has a half life of 5 days.

But the 39-year-old mum-of-four said when they checked the monitor they were horrified to spot a ‘ghost baby’ sleeping next to their tiny son. Laura said she also saw the chilling figure appear to wave at things in Sebastian’s room at their home in Plymouth, Devon.

Ghost baby? I mean, I am about Danny Devito height, but ghost baby? Really? Of course I was waving. I was trying to wave the stink away cuz Teddy Ruxpin was crapping himself and I was puking myself. Also pissing radiation like Chernobyl. It smelled like rotten Taiwanese garbage stuffed inside of roadkill. Sorry for the all the confusion. I just stumbled home after a few minutes.

PS. What do you feed that kid? Stop.

via Mirror

Creepy Earthquake Doomsday Bunker Bed

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Creepy Earthquake Doomsday Bunker Bed
“This bed could save your life during an earthquake.” Check out the video below and see if you agree that this doomsday bunker bed can save your life.

I sleep with my arms all stretched out, so thank God I will be saved from the earthquake, even if it will cut off my arms like a limb guillotine, and leave me a quadriplegic, just laying there, trapped in a box and listening to my alarm which will never ever stop as I die in what is essentially a piss-filled dumpster.
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Wearable Japanese Futon

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monster shaving kit
It’s almost as if I said to the universe, “Universe, I’m not nearly fat and lazy enough. You think you could send a product my way that will let me just fall down and sleep on a futon that I am already wearing? Cool. Thanks. You’re the best.” and he answered me!

I mean, judging by the picture, it looks like this Wearable Japanese Futon was made for Vulcans, but this will do! Thanks God. And I’m sorry about that whole Ten commandments thing, I really thought it was more of a checklist. I’ll do better! Pinky promise!
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Pirate Shipwreck Bed

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pirate ship bed
My parents never bought me anything cool like this Authentic Pirate Ship Bed. Instead they poured all of their hard-earned money into a college education and look how well that worked out. I still pretend I’m a Veterinarian when I call home and on Christmas I surround myself with 3-legged dogs and the like when they come over. Sometimes they ask me to diagnose their pets and sadly, the easiest way to lie my way through it, is with a needle and the words “This really is the kindest thing for him.”

It’s their own fault. If they had just spent their money on this awesome Pirate bed we would all be happier and their pets might live longer lives.
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