Tag: cats

The Haunted Cat Tarot Deck

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The Haunted Cat Tarot Deck

Look at that artwork. MoewZers! Let me introduce you to The Haunted Cat Tarot Deck featuring the amazing art of J Edward Neill. This 78 card deck is just full of, well, haunted cats. Just like my house. I have so many deceased cats in my yard, all missed terribly) and I see their little ghosts all of the time. 78 cards huh? Lets see, that’s… What’s 78 divided by 9 lives? Ah. 8.6. That’s enough tarot card reading for 8.6 cat lives, which roughly equates to not quite 9 readings as each cat has nine lives. Hmmm. I’m seeing a serious flaw here. If a cat is getting a reading, the cat can almost get that last full reading, but not quite. The Haunted Cat Tarot Deck needs more cards. Yes. That’s what my scientific equation states.

I’ll have to run my calculations on these other tarot cards.

 

Book Of Spells Skeleton Cats Sweatshirt

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Book Of Spells Skeleton Cats Sweatshirt
What the? Are those cats witches? Sorry cats, just making fun. Geesh, you guys need to grow a thicker skin. Haahhahahaha. Thicker skin. Get it? Cuz you have no skin. I crack me up. Anywho, this Book Of Spells Skeleton Cats Sweatshirt is amazing. There’s nothing like two cat corpses doing the magic. Absolutely purrfect!

Adorable Zombie Kitties Cat Pendants

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Zombie Kitties Cat Pendants
These Zombie Kitties Cat Pendants are zombie cats for your neck. They promise not to bite you and turn you into a zombie cat person. There are several different cat zombie personalities to choose from. Imma wear ’em all like Mr. T. Cuz I can’t choose a favorite. I pity the fool don’t have no zombie kitties around their neck!

Mew-Berry! – Monster Cereal Catnip Toys

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Monster Cereal Catnip Toys
I love me some Boo-Berry, also some Count Chocula and Frankenberry. So I think it’s time to share the high that I get from these cereals with my cat. These Monster cereal Catnip Toys look just like little fluffy boxes of cereal. *Throws them down for my cat to play with. Mr. Whiskers starts playing. Then starts rolling around all drunk, rubbing up against them. Then starts darting around the house, freaking out.* Glad you like them. Now my turn. *Pours myself a bowl of Boo-Berry. Eats. Climbs on the table, rolling around all drunk….* Oh yeah. That’s the stuff!

Licki Brush Lets You Lick Your Cat Back

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licki brush
The Licki Brush. What’s weird about this? Doesn’t everybody put a fake tongue in their mouth to lick their cat? I know if I don’t lick my cat at least once a day, she gets ticked off. What? Oh, okay. Let’s just get all of the p**** licking jokes out of the way. Are you done yet? *Sigh* So immature.

Anyway, you have to use this device to lick your cat, cuz otherwise you get hairballs. And a human hacking up hairballs is a nasty sight. Trust me on that one my friends. Not that I’ve ever used a similar device. I just heard things. What are you trying to imply? Look, I ain’t no dirty cat licker! Thems fightin’ words. Put up your dukes. I’m gonna- *ACK….ACK…COUGH* Now that that’s out of my system, and all over your floor, come at me bro!

Video that you can never unsee below.
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