Tag: doll

Demented Doll Face Horror Brooch

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Demented Doll Face Horror Brooch
Good God! What is that Demented Doll Face pinned to your shirt? Did it burst out of your chest? This soulless doll is for attention-seekers. She is eating her own ever-lovin eyeball! What does that taste like? Chicken. It’s always chicken! Her creepy, all-seeing, little eye stares from between her lips, staring and saying wassup. Where did she come from? Heaven? Hell? The underworld? The upside-down? The answer is obvious. Hell. Gotta be hell. Is it me or does the eyeball follow you? Glad you had a good lunch, lady. She is the epitome of a gothic, creepy, cyclops head.

I’m calling her Iris for obvious reasons. When you wear this little gem, all eyes are going to be on you. Not just the one in her mouth. Plus, are those eyelids sealed shut? Maybe she shiftf her eyes between her eye-sockets and her mouth. It’s more nightmare-inducing the more you think about it. I bet the only way to kill this demented doll face is to put it in front of a mirror. Or make it face off against the Eyeball Door Knob.

Plague Doctor Doll

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Plague Doctor Doll
The doctor is in. This Plague Doctor Doll looks pretty cool. He’ll keep you safe from the plague. Which I am famous for curing by the way. How did I do it? Through science and chemistry? Through harvesting herbs? Hell no. I just changed the “g” to a “q”. And ever since these Plague doctors have been known as plaque doctors. So instead of battling the plague, they battle plaque in your teeth and in your arteries, while earning awesome plaques for their service which they decorate their offices with.

See, I cured the damn thing. I don’t even get any credit. Awesome Plague Doctor Doll anyway.

While we are talking Plague Docs, check out this cool Plague Doctor Statue.

Disturbing Freddy Krueger Doll

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Disturbing Freddy Krueger Doll
This Disturbing Freddy Krueger Doll will keep you up all night should you choose to adopt it. If you let this thing in your house you have a death wish for sure. This little tyke has the pizza face you know and love, the signature shirt, claw hand, and that thirst for murder that is so very Freddy. He’s ready for his next adventure. Are you?

Someone is going to go through babysitters like crazy. The babysitter’s club? They all dead! There ain’t no one left in town to care for children. Not after he’s done. And soon all adults will perish. Only baby Freddy will be left as he grows and roams from town to town. This little guy was invading dreams and causing nightmares ever since the first person saw his face. Damn that kid is ugly. I bet you didn’t know that his fashion sense started right from birth. He’s just always had that same striped shirt, the hat and the killing claws. Also, if you love yourself this Freddy Krueger Doll, check out this Freddy Krueger Purse. It’s the creepiest place to hold all of your belongings, with the striped shirt design and slashes across the fabric.

Baby Maggot Purse

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Baby Maggot Purse
Where’s my purse? Well, it just didn’t get up and walk away. That’s not true if you are rocking the Baby Maggot Purse. It’s a baby, it’s apparently a maggot according to the seller and it will hold all of your important stuff. When you get home just drop it on the floor and it will put itself away. And all will be well until one day when you need to put it to sleep with a shotgun and then burn it in the fireplace. Trust me, it can happen.

Until then, enjoy.

The armored spine is a nice touch. The Baby Maggot Purse is not only evil, but also tough as hell. And apparently this thing is royalty judging by that tiny crown on it’s dead-eyed head. King of the maggots I guess. This thing is definitely nightmare fuel. Much like the baby maggot necklace.

Creepy Murderous Mushroom Doll – Holy Shiitake!

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Creepy Murderous Mushroom Doll - Holy Shiitake!
We’ve seen some creepy dolls, but Holy Shiitake Batman! That is one crazed killer and creepy Murderous Mushroom Doll. Look at him. Did I just assume his gender? Deal with it. I mean if it has a mushroom head… He loves his mini murder spree and rusty-ass knife. That much is clear. The horror! Still, he looks like a fun-gi. Wanna hear a joke? I thought so. Where do they make prison food? In the Mush-Room. Get it? Ha ha ha ha ha. Don’t shank me bro! Anyway, why do toads need a stool? Take this Mushroom Doll home, and he won’t take up mushroom at all. I promise. Probably more truffle than he’s worth though to be honest.

Keep your eye on this little guy. He’s been trippin on his own juices. If you do buy this little guy make sure you set him up in a shroom with a view. You know. He likes his space is all I’m sayin. All I know is that the mushroom kingdom is not at all what the Mario games promised me it would be. It’s more nightmare than colorful platforming fun with my little cartoon buds. Nope. Not at all. Shudders.