Tag: maggot

Baby Maggot Purse

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Baby Maggot Purse
Where’s my purse? Well, it just didn’t get up and walk away. That’s not true if you are rocking the Baby Maggot Purse. It’s a baby, it’s apparently a maggot according to the seller and it will hold all of your important stuff. When you get home just drop it on the floor and it will put itself away. And all will be well until one day when you need to put it to sleep with a shotgun and then burn it in the fireplace. Trust me, it can happen.

Until then, enjoy.

The armored spine is a nice touch. The Baby Maggot Purse is not only evil, but also tough as hell. And apparently this thing is royalty judging by that tiny crown on it’s dead-eyed head. King of the maggots I guess. This thing is definitely nightmare fuel. Much like the baby maggot necklace.

Maggot Baby Necklace

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Maggot Baby NecklaceThis Maggot Baby Necklace is a terrifying accessory. He just hangs there looking gross and even has like a stone third eye so it can hypnotize you with a disturbing lullaby, then crawl all over you leaving a slimy trail in its wake. I’ll take two. I wrote a poem about it.

Tag it, bag it,
Hurry up and snag it.

I just bought a maggot.

Better than Bob Saget.

Austin Powers wanna shag it.

Thank you. Thank you. My 3rd-grade education is really paying off.

Maggot Mugs – Drink Up, Then Upchuck

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Maggot Mugs - Drink Up, Then Upchuck
Damn, I’m parched. I am so ready for a nice refreshing drink. Serve it up! Hey, what’s this? A Maggot Mug? *Retches violently.* Yeah, I think I’ll just stay thirsty thanks. *involuntarily pukes directly into Maggot Mug and looks down into it.* That seems fitting right? Nothing else makes sense in this mug. Now excuse me while I dry heave for an hour.

From WillinAndChillinArts. I think they forgot illin.

Monster Maggot In A Jar

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Monster Maggot In A Jar
I’ve seen my share of maggots. Don’t ask. But I’ve never seen a Monster Maggot before. I’m not even sure what to say about it. Cuz only bad things rhyme with maggot. And since that’s the grade level I’m at, I’m kind of at a loss. It’s a cyclops maggot cuz it only has one eye. Those teeth look pretty sharp. The face is pretty ugly too. Which is exactly what my dentist says to me. Followed by “Shhhh. Sleepy time now.”

Preserved Maggot Filled Heart Pendant

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Preserved Maggot Filled Heart Pendant
Nothing says love like a Preserved Maggot Filled Heart Pendant. I love you. Here have some dead maggots. Because you wiggled your way into my rotting heart like a hungry maggot on a piece of meat that had been left out in the sun. And you just kept feeding on me… Our love is kinda weird.

Yeah, I should totally write greeting cards. And because I care enough to send the very best to those that I love, I’m getting this pendant for a very special lady. Maybe she will be my maggot queen. When I kiss her, she will turn into a fly. And that’s gonna be really annoying, cuz she’s gonna land on my food and stuff, so I’m gonna have to smack her with the flyswatter! Love is eternal sure, but don’t land on the filthy toilet seat with your fly legs and then land on my dinner!