Tag: flying saucer

Life Size UFO: Take Me To Your Leader

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Life Size UFO Take Me To Your Leader
Hello Earthling. This is my life size UFO, which is totally rad and stuff. Don’t touch the paint. Take me to your leader. I really need to do a number 3. Better call a hazmat team. I had space chili earlier. You know what they say about space chili. It scratches that itch, but the ride home’s a biatch.

You gonna take me to your leader or what? I just Blarted in my space suit! You don’t know what that means, but trust me on this one, back up like 20 feet and don’t approach the impending crater for 24 hours.
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UFO Beaming Up A Cow

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

UFO Beaming Up A Cow
Hey cow, you’re drunk. Go home! You are supposed to go INTO the beam and be lifted into the UFO so you can be cattle that’s mutilated. Not cattle that’s dry-humping a beam of light and threatening to put the alien craft off kilter.

*UFO falters and rocks. Alien looks out of a window. Ducks back in to make some adjustments. The cow moos and climbs up higher. The craft stalls and falls sideways with tractor beam still on. The tractor beam uproots a tree and sucks it into itself, impaling the craft. Lights go out. Beam flickers and shuts off. Cow just walks off like it’s just another UFO on it’s kill list.*