This UFO Abduction Bigfoot T Shirt shows Bigfoot getting sucked up into a UFO. Or does it? I think they are dropping this sasquatch off. What the shizz? You UFOs just think you can dump your creatures here anytime you want? This planet isn’t some Bigfoot daycare center. You can’t just drop your hairy brats off without even parking, leave them here for like 3 weeks and then pick them up after your big party of Alpha Centauri, still half drunk and smelling like alien sex and Martian Margaritas.
Tag: abduction
Color Changing UFO Mug Shows Cow Abduction
This Color Changing UFO Mug shows a cow abduction in progress when you add hot liquid. It’s a cautionary mug. Especially if you’re a cow. A good reminder to get your eyes off of that smartphone and look up. Cuz you never know when they are coming for you. Like I always say, “Keep your eyes peeled so’s your butt don’t have to heal.” Words to live by. I also say, “Look to the stars, while they’re looking toward Uranus!”
Enjoy The Probing Alien Coffee Mug
*Looks at the Enjoy The Probing Alien Coffee Mug. Shrugs.* Okay, fine. I will. I’ll try to enjoy it. Actually, it’s pretty uncomfortable. I’ll enjoy the mug for sure. The coffee will be enjoyable. No guarantees about the probing.
Hey, if you had any idea how much it hurts, you would know that it’s gonna take a lot more than a funny mug to cheer me up after. You try letting a spaceman ram his rocket into a crater on Uranus and see how you feel. Maybe YOU should enjoy the probing. How about this? If you enjoy it, I’ll enjoy it. Deal? K. No take backs.
Milk Packaging Shows Cow Getting Abducted By UFO
We all know that humans and cows are being abducted by aliens. It’s no secret. That’s why they are now putting UFOs abducting cows on milk bottles. This cool concept design for Molocow milk makes every serving of milk a recreation of a terrifying cow abduction. They say it’s fun for kids. I say it is terrifying for cows. I do like the cool flying saucer bottle caps though.
It’s all fun and games until that beam of light hits you and lifts you up into the mothership and violates your privates, whether you are a cow or a human. I hope they actually put this on their bottle though. I’m sure they will milk the idea for all it’s worth. If you think UFOs are utter nonsense, think again.
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UFO Beaming Up A Cow
Hey cow, you’re drunk. Go home! You are supposed to go INTO the beam and be lifted into the UFO so you can be cattle that’s mutilated. Not cattle that’s dry-humping a beam of light and threatening to put the alien craft off kilter.
*UFO falters and rocks. Alien looks out of a window. Ducks back in to make some adjustments. The cow moos and climbs up higher. The craft stalls and falls sideways with tractor beam still on. The tractor beam uproots a tree and sucks it into itself, impaling the craft. Lights go out. Beam flickers and shuts off. Cow just walks off like it’s just another UFO on it’s kill list.*