Tag: home decor

Coffin Zen Garden

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Coffin Zen Garden
This Coffin Zen Garden will bring some calm into your life. After all who doesn’t want to play around with some sand in an open coffin? It comes with everything you need to have a good time. Like headstones, a gargoyle, a skull and a shovel. Now when somebody tells me to go pound sand I can actually do it and get more Zen at the same time. This also looks like it would be great for burying your action figures. So you can give GI Joe that proper sendoff.

If you like this coffin zen garden you’ll love the bleeding coffin candle.

Bleeding Coffin Candle – AKA Vampire Waterbed

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Bleeding Coffin Candle
Blood drips from around the edges of this Bleeding Coffin Candle. Oozing, leaking, bleeding. Open the stone lid with fear and trepidation. Are you afraid of death? Are you afraid of the dark? Hope you’re feeling brave tonight! What lies within? Light the flame. Liquid wax burns bright then melts into a solid lake of death, to be melted into the ever after. Much like life, a candle burns brightly for a time before it dwindles into nothingness forever. See, I can be deep when I want to be. Enjoy the light while it lasts! Darkness is imminent once this grisly light burns out. Are you afraid of the dark? I’m not saying I am. Sure I screamed when the lights went out last week, but that’s only because I was so excited. And later it was because I stubbed my toe. Oh my God that hurts! Same thing happened when I saw that mouse. That was more of an eek than a scream though. You know me, I’m excitable. Speaking of cool bleeding coffins, if you like this bleeding coffin candle, check out these cool Bat Wing Coffin necklaces. It doesn’t get better than bats AND coffins in one item.

Spirit Board Crates – The Real Spirit Box

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Spirit Board Crates - The Real Spirit Box
Get your Spirit Board Crates here! They are perfect for holding your spirit boards. Because who doesn’t have like a ton of Ouija boards hanging around the house? Get like 100 of these crates, fill ’em with Ouija boards, then put ’em in a truck and transport them across the country! What are the odds that this shipment makes it? Or it does make it, but every other car it passes is demolished and run off the road by a thousand specters! Or you could just, you know, decorate with these spirit board crates. And let the spirits have their way with your home.

If you want an actual spirit board, check out the Call The Mothman spirit board.

6 Headed Clock – Half Past Horror

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6 Headed Clock - Half Past Horror
With this 6 Headed Clock, it’s always time for terror. Six heads are better than one I guess. Six screaming tormented heads. I only wish that they screamed on the hour, every hour. Hey man, what time is it? Well, let me look at the cl- WHAT THE SHIZZ? HOLY HELL. KILL IT! TIME IS A LIE! *Passes out*

Now to start my script titled “Six heads Tormented Through Time” starring Nicolas Cage in a six role tour de’ force. It will make you vomit. It will make you hurl. It will make you chuck and those heads don’t give a f**k! And in case you didn’t know, here’s a clock featuring Edgar Allan Poe. It ain’t no 6 Headed Clock, but whatevs.

Dill Pickle Scented Alien Head Candle

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Dill Pickle Scented Alien Head Candle
So what’s the big dill? This Dill Pickle scented Alien head candle, that’s what. Why dill? Why the hell not? For all I know that’s what they probe you with. That would be quite a pickle. Definitely not an i-dill situation. Anyway, if you want the sweet scent of dill while staring at a burning alien head you might be high and if not you can have that experience right here with this strange Scented Alien Head Candle. It doesn’t probe my bung-hole so much as it blows my mind.

Now I’m gonna open up a jar of pickles and put them in briefcases so we can all play dill or no deal like I was Howie Man-dill. That would be my I-dill Friday night anyway. That show is a vlasic. I mean a classic. And I think I just ran out of pickle jokes. It had to happen sooner or later. Nothing lasts forever. Not even a green alien head candle burning brightly while emitting the sweet scent of pickles. Which are just elderly cucumbers if we are being honest. If I sound drunk it’s because I am. I’ve been downing loads of this Alien Beer. It is not pickle flavored.