Tag: home decor

Salem Witch Trials Reproduction Wall Art

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Salem Witch Trials Reproduction Wall Art
Decorate with this Salem Witch Trials Reproduction Wall Art and creep up your castle. Witches have always been tried, long before Amber Heard. Usually, they would do stuff like tie them to a wood beam and dunk them underwater and if they don’t die, they’re a witch. If they do die, well… maybe that wasn’t a great witch detector. They would draw and quarter you, set you on fire, pull out your fingernails and generally end you. Sort of like when you disagree with others politically or about anything today.

Anyway, this cool reproduction Salem Witch Trials wall art will be perfect for your creepy castle or haunted home. It’s a great reminder to not be caught being a witch. Don’t let anyone see you using one of these witch cauldron mugs, for instance. Because if you are drinking from a cauldron in your little hamlet, you are just asking for trouble. You might as well decorate your hair with bats, cook with eye of newt and fly around on a broom. It’s okay to be a biatch, just not a wiatch if you know what I’m saying. So you need to also make sure to hide your resting witch face from others.

Claw Bookends / Bookmarks

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Claw Bookends
These Claw Bookends are crazy. Is there a lycanthrope in the library? I don’t know what it is, but it’s on the loose, and loves books. That makes it very dangerous indeed. I watched these claws all over my books for like 3 hours straight, and when the beast didn’t come out, I cut and filed those claws. Then put some ruby red nail polish on them. Now it’s not a threat. But I’m still not reading any books until it leaves. Who am I kidding, I never read them anyway. They just make me look smart. This is why I also have these Ravens On Skulls Bookends. I look look smart but me not smart. Anyway, these Claw Bookends are aweswome.

Bat Ouija Board – Go Batty Summoning Spirits

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Bat Ouija Board - Go Batty Summoning Spirits
Check out this Bat Ouija Board. Now you can summon bat spirits as well as human spirits. I’m guessing. Not that you’ll get any answers from bats since it will all come out as E-E-K and E-E-E-E-K. Thanks for the wisdom guys. Did you just phantom guano on my shoulder? Yeah, that’s ectoplasmic bat scat, alright. I wonder if you can summon Batman with this thing. It would probably just tell me I had the wrong number. But you know me, I’ll keep trying until it blocks me.

This Ouija board will look awesome in a seance room or any room or belfry. Perfect for Halloween too. Go batty with it. I hope you talk to some chatty batties. Does it actually summon bats? Like some Jedi-Master spirit bat that can impart wisdom. Because that isn’t hard to do. Heck, I can summon a wise old bat without a spirit board. I’ll just call my mother. Whoa. Wait a minute… Is that what a motherboard is? Is it a board that summons mothers? That could be good, because there are definitely some milfs I’d like to summon if you know what I’m saying and I think you do. Check out more spirit boards.

Amazing Modern Skull Mirror

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Amazing Modern Skull Mirror
This Modern Skull Mirror looks badass. How do I look today? Let me consult the great and powerful skull mirror. This bit of home decor will add a touch of gothic style to your home. Whether you dwell in haunted house or a non-haunted abode, it’s an awesome upgrade.  It’s made in Italy, so you know it’s good. They’ll tell you themselves. With their hands. Mirror mirror on the wall who is the fairest one of all? It’s me, isn’t it? Gotta be me. Not bragging or anything. Just stating facts. I’m so vain. I probably think this post is about me. I’m so vain. Whereas old people are more vein. They are full of them in fact and you can see them. Ew! I do gaze into this gothic bat mirror a lot, though. It drives me batty, but I have to have a look to see if I look bat-ter than ever. Anywho, this cool mirror is going to make your home look badass my friend. It’s gothic chic and creepy cool. If you ain’t got this amazing mirror you just ain’t cool. You will be using a reflective skull to check out your own skull. That’s a win/win.

Freddy Krueger’s Tongue Phone – AT & Tongue

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Freddy Krueger's Tongue Phone - AT & Tongue
Remember Freddy Krueger’s Tongue Phone from that one Nightmare on Elm Street movie? Of course, you do. This dude is the dream master and he knows how to create the most f***ed up nightmares that will haunt you forever. This is one of those things. You just can’t unsee it. I’m not being tongue in cheek, but I bet it uses the AT & Tongue network. Maybe T-Mobile cuz I always wondered what the T stood for. Definitely not the Mint network cuz this thing does not taste like a mint while it tries to get in your mouth. In fact, it could use a mint or four. We are gonna need a bigger tin of Altoids. Freddy wants to give you a good tongue lashing. A french Freddy kiss if you will. Freddy Krueger’s Tongue Phone is all about that tongue action. I think this disturbing Freddy Krueger doll is the same way.

Imagine trying to actually have a conversation on this phone while that thing is licking and lashing to and fro. Maybe you could give it some hard candy to keep it occupied. That way you can flap your gums and it can flap itself all it wants.