Tag: paranormal news

Helicopter Checks Out UFO Over Los Angeles

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Helicopter Checks Out UFO Over Los Angeles
In other news, this UFO was recently spotted over LA, looking like a giant Disco ball. Some helicopters came and circled it for awhile too. The disco ball telepathically sent this message “We come to see your Bee-Gees. Your platform shoes. And the funk!” Sadly, no Bee-Gees were present, so the army wrangled up Justin Beiber. The best they could do on short notice. “This is the best we can offer you in this era!” a scientist shouted into a megaphone, while Beiber began to sing. Witnesses say that they heard the telepathic drone of a thousand beings committing mass suicide before the Disco ball faded into nothingness.

The invasion will begin shortly.
Read more “Helicopter Checks Out UFO Over Los Angeles”

Baby’s Sonogram Image Shows Jesus’ Face

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Baby's Sonogram Shows Jesus' Face
Some people find Jesus in church, others find him in meditation. Then you have the people who find him on a piece of toast or on the side of a burned building. This Pennsylvania couple found Jesus in the womb. The sonogram clearly shows that Jesus is watching over their baby girl. Unless… Is that Jim Morrison? I’m pretty sure that’s Jim Morrison. It really makes you wonder who is in your own womb doesn’t it? I’m sure he’s just turning womb-water into wine and they’re having a party. Rock on Jesus. No wonder babies come out looking all hung over and tired.
Read more “Baby’s Sonogram Image Shows Jesus’ Face”

Bigfoot Caught Eating Apples On Trail Cam

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Bigfoot Caught On Trail Cam
So this is a video of Bigfoot captured by a trail cam. He was picking apples and appears to have a skin condition. Damn Bigfoot, you best get that looked at. You got the mange. Is it real? I have no idea, but if you have an apple tree, you may see Bigfoot since they seem to love apples. They travel across the country pooping apple seeds and making America rich with food trees. Thank you Bigfoot. Thank you for feeding us. We reap what your butt sews.
Read more “Bigfoot Caught Eating Apples On Trail Cam”

Freaky Monkey Pig Born In Cuba

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Freaky Monkey Pig Born In Cuba
The end is nigh. First we had the eclipse of 2017 and if that wasn’t enough, check out another sign of the end times. A weird-ass monkey pig hybrid born in Cuba. I really wish that what happened in Cuba stayed in Cuba cuz this thing is freaky to look at. Makes me feel all weird. It’s a pig with the face of a chimp and only one eye. Cyclops Pig Chimp! CyChimp Pig. PigClops Monkey! A Pork-Chimp!

*Charlton Heston voice* A planet where apes evolved from pigs?

WTF nature! Why you do me like that? I was eating lunch when I saw this.
Read more “Freaky Monkey Pig Born In Cuba”

Guys in Hazmat Suits Find Mermaid Body

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Guys in Hazmat Suits Find Mermaid Body
So this is a highly questionable video of some dude filming some other dudes in hazmat suits finding a mermaid body in the water and trying to move it by putting it on a blanket and carrying it away in a very inept way. The guy filming talks about military people all over the place, but I’m calling BS. If that were true, everybody would be flocking in to see mermaid boobies. Mermaid boobies are the holy grail of boobies. No one wants to miss a sight like that. Man, that’s some nice tail though.