No need to go catching your BFF’s lice and other cooties, because you always lean in close and bump heads for those selfies. Just get this Etsy seller to make you a selfie doll instead. Take a picture of the doll whenever you need a selfie. Or put the doll against your friend’s head and take a selfie, that way your doll is getting your BFF’s scalp scabies and other nasties. Let’s face it, your friends ain’t clean. You know when your leg itches for no reason whatsoever? That was a rogue crab from your best friend Judy’s moldy clam. It was just saying hi.
Etsy seller Mahinarium will make you a selfie doll for $87.38, with up to two pieces of clothing.
Batman and Robin. That was a terrible Batman movie. Luckily it did have Uma Thurman as Poison Ivy. I would rub up on those vines and get a seven year itch. You know what I’m sayin’? Reminds me of that time (the only time) a girl came over to my house wearing a sexy Poison Ivy costume. She was covered in actual Poison Ivy. She was all like, “I’m just wearing this so you won’t touch me, perv! I’m only here because you have an Xbox.”