SAW Reverse Bear Trap

Saw Movie Bear TrapWow. I hope that guy can unlock that Saw reverse bear trap in time so it doesn’t rip his jaws open. I don’t know about you, but I’m not a fan of scary puppets that make me play games. Well, unless it’s Go Fish. Love that game. Still trying to master it though. I think I made it into the National semi finals this year. Fingers crossed. Those kindergarten kids are gonna poop themselves. No, at least some of them really will.

Anyway, this prop from the Saw movies can be yours for $400.00. It’s totally safe. Meaning it won’t rip your jaws apart, but it does weigh 5 pounds so it will be a pain in the neck.

Ancient Alien Elongated Skull

ancient elongated alien skullThis ancient alien skull may be from a real alien. It also could have been formed by a process called “boarding” where they used boards to elongate the head. My theory? I think ancient women just put their kids in a nest and sat on them to keep them warm. If you get your skull crushed between two ancient woman butt cheeks, you are going to have a cone head. That and you are gonna smell like ancient woman farts.

Sadly, we don’t have the fart testing technology to prove my theory, but we do have the technology to buy this replica online for $90.
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We’re Going To Need A Bigger Boot: Scary Giant Spider

huge spiderGet it off me! Get it off me! Oh, it’s just on the screen. Thank God. I thought I was going to have to jump on the chair and scream like a little girl again. It would suck to have that happen twice at the same coffee shop. However I’m pretty confident that I could walk away with dry pants this time. Holy mother of all spiders! This is a large 36″ x 48″ x 24″ badass spider made from 80% foam, 15% latex, and 5% metal.

What’s with that color and pattern on the butt-sack? Does that mean poisonous or is it just meant to give it’s prey a psych evaluation? I see a butterfly…..Well, I’m not sure what it is. It floats like a butterfly, but stings like a bee. I KNOW. It’s Muhammad Ali. AWESOME GUESS. TELL HIM WHAT HE WON BOB!

YOU WIN…GETTING KICKED OUT OF THE COFFEE SHOP FOR LOSING CONTROL OF YOUR BLADDER AFTER ALL. THAT AND LIVING IN HORROR EVERY TIME YOU SEE AN EIGHT-LEGGED CREATURE!

Life Sized Gremlins Will Make A Mess Of Your Home

life sized gremlinsEtsy seller Lilitecreation offers several life sized Gremlins that you can buy, so that they can mess up your house and throw a party. You can get Mohawk, Daffy and Lenny. What about that Professor guy from Gremlins 2? He was the craziest therapist ever.

They will cost you between $310. to $470. I can wreck my house for much cheaper on my own thank you, but these guys are pretty awesome. This is what happens when you feed stuff after midnight. The consequences are much worse than some farts under the sheets and a stomach ache, which is what happens when I eat after midnight.

Star Wars Salacious B Crumb Life Size Replica Hand Puppet

Salacious B CrumbToo bad this life sized Salacious B Crumb just ended without a bid. I would have totally bought it for $850 from Ebay seller 7heads10horns.

Salacious B Crumb is one of the best names ever. It fits the cackling and stark raving mad little weirdo. I’m guessing he basically lives off of Jabba’s crumbs. Cause you know, Hutts are fat.