This Chilled Monkey Brains Sculpture reminds me of that Scene from Indiana Jones, but I like my monkey brains like James Bond. Shaken, not stirred. Notice, I didn’t say Monkee brains, cuz that would be extra weird. Just to be clear I have never partaken from the brains of the 1960s band. Put this on the table this Thanksgiving and watch your family clear out real quick. That’s why I ordered two.
Author: Artemis Winterford
Disturbies Horror Dolls
What the shizz?!!? Uh… You ugly. These Disturbies Horror Dolls are well named. Everything about ’em is disturbing. Look at that smile? What the hell he just eat that’s dripping all out his nasty mouth? Dude is like a fetus with a 50-year-old’s hair too. How? Why? Oh, I see. The seller says it is “born from flesh, blood, pus, spunk, and everything wrong. For you to love and cherish. Forever.”
Yeah, that clears it all up. That is one creepy doll.
Book Of Spells Skeleton Cats Sweatshirt
What the? Are those cats witches? Sorry cats, just making fun. Geesh, you guys need to grow a thicker skin. Haahhahahaha. Thicker skin. Get it? Cuz you have no skin. I crack me up. Anywho, this Book Of Spells Skeleton Cats Sweatshirt is amazing. There’s nothing like two cat corpses doing the magic. Absolutely purrfect!
Vampire Heart Necklace
I love this Vampire Heart Necklace. For real. And I don’t have any “stake” in the company. You know what this Vampire’s favorite song is? “Shot through the heart and you’re to blame…” You know what his favorite TV channel is? Spike TV. Of course. His cholesterol used to be good, but now he definitely has clogged arteries. He suffered a heart attack for real.
Kraken Toilet Paper Holder – Wipe Your Kraken
You know what they say. After Taco Tuesday and the impending explosion in your porcelain throne which follows, you better get kraken and wipe your kraken. This Kraken Toilet Paper Holder will help. He’s got 8 tentacles to hold that precious TP. Don’t be an octo-puss, hang this by the toilet.